Doing Life Together

infidelity-379565_1280Something is wrong in your relationship. You just know it, but can’t really put your finger on why you feel so unsettled. The last thing you want to think about is the possibility that your partner could be cheating on you. But open your eyes and look for the signs, because your partner may be signaling a cheating heart.

Physical changes:

The first thing you notice is that your partner is suddenly more aware of his or her physical appearance, is beginning to work out and seems to have more energy for presenting him or herself in public. This is a change, and one that has not been discussed as a goal of weight loss or fitness. But you notice the more put together look and concern for total body care.

In the bedroom there is also a change. Your partner is asking you to try new things, and it feels different. Again, there isn’t conversation about the need for novelty or spicing up the relationship, rather a change in the way he or she is approaching you.

As you move some clothing to clean up your room, you notice a different smell or see something like a lip stick smudge that doesn’t make sense. The smell throws you because you know the typical smell associated with this person and this is different. Again, there has been no talk about new colognes, perfumes or trying new products.

Relational changes:

You partner has been spending more time away from home and you notice you have not been invited to any work get-togethers. The invitations have stopped and more excuses are being made to come home late.

When your partner is home, he or she is avoiding you. There is more time playing video games, watching TV alone, reading a book or being in another room. And when you try to talk about it, the person becomes irritated and annoyed with you. It’s like he or she is trying to distance and turn away from you.

You pick up your partner’s phone because you need a contact and the password has been changed. You then try to log on to one of his or her accounts and the same is true-new passwords. And you notice that your partner is on devices more than normal.

Spiritual changes:

You notice a change in practices–no more praying together, reading the Bible and more excuses are made to miss church. Friends are being avoided and reasons to miss events are given. Basically, there is a new avoidance of spiritual things and being around church friends.

All of these changes could indicate a rough patch in a person’s life, but they could also be signs of cheating. As difficult as it is, bring up the noticed changes and if the person continues to be even more defensive rather than trying to explain  changes, you probably have a problem. Time to get help and consult a professional therapist in order to know how to handle what you have noticed.

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