Doing Life Together

infidelitySara was going through a rough patch in her marriage. She and Jeff were struggling to spend time together and found themselves growing apart. They stopped attending church, rarely went out or did anything together. Both were in intense careers that demanded much of their time.

So when Sara’s relationship with a co-worker turned into an affair, I wasn’t surprised. Sara spent long hours working with this man. The conversation often turned personal and the two traveled together on many assignments. Sara admitted that her co-worker knew more about her inner life than her husband and that she had turned to him for emotional support.

Infidelity often occurs at the office or work place for the reasons Sara experienced. Passion at home is waning, an attractive co-worker is friendly, time spent together can become an emotionally attachment if boundaries are not placed on the relationship, and other relationships are ignored.

Cheating in the workplace is not only wrong, but often backfires and ends in work related regret.

So how do you protect yourself from cheating at work: Here are 10 tips to help put on the breaks when you feel tempted.

1) Have your meetings in public spaces.

2) Don’t engage in excessive touching with any co-worker. It sends the wrong message and can be stimulating.

3) Keep family reminders at your work space. No out of sight, out of mind.

4) Don’t do lunch dates or after work drinks with someone with whom you have an attraction. This is a set up for boundaries to be crossed and emotional intimacy to develop.

5) Resist the popular idea of a “work” spouse. Stick with your home spouse.

6) Keep your personal life personal. Sharing intimate details is what creates an emotional connection.

7) Attend to your home relationship and turn towards that person for emotional support.

8) Talk about your spouse and family at work in positive terms. Don’t dissociate them from your work life.

9) Think  about your conversations. Would I say that in front of my husband? If no, then don’t say it.

10) Listen to your gut. It usually tells you to put on the brakes.



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