Thank you for visiting Dadequate. This blog is no longer being updated. Please enjoy the archives. Here is another blog you may also enjoy: Letting Go With Guy Finley Happy Blogging!!!
My sister, Micha Boyett-Hohorst, has spent the last couple years living in San Francisco with her husband and young son. She’s a stay-at-home mom. He works for a software company. Fresh on the heels of son #2 arriving, they are moving to Austin now that my brother-in-law has taken another job…with another, bigger software company.
Both of them have struggled with their identity as parents in a culture where occupation means everything. She’s got a graduate degree and is a fantastic mentor to teenagers, but is constantly running into other women who patronize her due to her willingness to stay home with her kids. He’s Ivy-league-educated and crazy-smart but has struggled to find value in his work. He was great at his job, but it kept pulling him away from his family.
Anyway, over at her blog, Mama:Monk, Micha posted last week about how both of them are learning the truth that they cannot be defined by where they go to work or what is printed on their business cards.
When Chris and I arrived in San Francisco, we would have never said that our jobs defined our value, but that is exactly what we believed. I had been raising a baby and spending my work hours telling pagan high school kids that they were worth something to God, that their lives were more than the sum of their successes (or failures)…To me there was nothing more valuable I could be doing with my life.
Chris was a man struggling to figure out his calling. Did God care about software sales? Did Chris care about software sales? Was Chris’ value based on how quickly he was promoted? How often people believed he was brilliant? Were we going to do the whole “move from place to place in pursuit of success” thing?
It’s a great post and one you should read in its entirety.
As a dad, these things are worth remembering…
I am not my job: My worth as a father isn’t defined by where I work…or what kinds of clients I have…or how many books I sell…or whether I’m able to work at all.
I am not my children: My worth as a parent isn’t defined by my kids’ success or behavior. My kids are perfect little angels, of course, but for many parents that is entirely good news.
I am not my stuff: My worth as a human has nothing to do with the size of my house, the make of my car, or the quality of the material things I own.
I am not my _________.