Poor Chattering Mind. The other Chatterings make ruthless fun of her for screeching, “Get your head away from the microwave oven when it’s running! It will scorch your brain, you fool!”

Yes, I know there are better ways to convey my feelings, but why, oh why doesn’t anyone just go along with me on this one?

Our seven-year-old, built-in microwave is positioned right at brain level. And yes, I could offer you information that says microwaves are perfectly safe , and information that says they may pose risks . (I really worry about people who work for years next to them in convenience stores and restaurants.)

But I cling to this fact: A friend of mine who used to work at the FCC (Federal Communications Commission) told me the technicians there always kept their distance from the microwave ovens in the staff lunchroom. “Huh? What does that mean?” I asked my friend. “Everything in moderation,” he replied.

Risky to work next to when in operation or not, microwave ovens are so fast, so slick, so convenient, that even I succumb occasionally. Today, I was about to microwave last night’s leftover collard greens (refrigerated on a plate with a side of farro). But then I spied a clean frying pan, on top of the range beckoning me. Oh, I’ll just warm my little meal in that, I said.

The aroma of greens and grains quickly filled the kitchen. Some of the collards got nice and crisp at the edge. I sat down with my beautiful, steaming bowl and thought: This is delicious. I’m so glad I didn’t microwave it.

Photo by Kiwi Nessie

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