So, I have decided to take a break from writing this blog for a while. Although I have much to write about, sometimes the time, energy, and means to write it are not as available. And I’m in a place in my life right now where I don’t care to “push the river.” I have […]
Two times in the last two weeks I was feeling incredibly depleted and fatigued. The first time it was after driving 2000 miles across the country in four days by myself – the third and longest day was through gale force Kansas winds that shook my car so thoroughly I had to slow way down so as not to be blown off the road. The second time was this morning. I had worked nine consecutive 17-hour overnight care-giving shifts, I had packed and moved half my belongings into storage, and I was preparing to fly home to help attend to the needs of my elderly and ailing parents.
Both times, the Universe/God/the Angels stepped in and gave me a thoroughly unexpected gift. And both times my exhaustion lifted in an instant! Both times I noticed this transformation in my body and spirit and marveled at the wonder of it. Grace. Absolute Grace.
Thank you. Thank You. THANK YOU!
The first time this happened I was on the last leg of my journey home. I had awakened that morning with very low energy, wishing like crazy I didn’t have to get back in that car. (I had to be home the next day to meet a guest and then later, to begin work.) My energy rose a bit when I got to the wide-open spaces of the beautiful Colorado desert west of Pueblo and then even moreso as I drove through the canyonlands and the beautiful Arkansas River. But after one and a half hours of driving, Beauty alone could not sustain me. Have you ever been so exhausted you just wanted to cry? That’s how I felt. I finally dragged into the town of Salida and had a quick bite to eat and then I slogged on.
I was now on the home stretch. I was back in familiar territory only an hour north of home. And suddenly it happened. I drove through Poncha Pass. This is a lovely place where the upper reaches of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains meet the Sawatch Range. Once one exits the pass, the whole of the great San Luis Valley spreads out, guarded on the east and west by a chain of gorgeous, tall mountains. Anyway. I had just driven a mile or so into the pass when I suddenly realized I was smiling. It was my first genuine smile of the entire day. And I suddenly realized that my fatigue had disappeared. It had just flat out disappeared. I felt light! I felt buoyant. I felt… happy!
Oh the gift of feeling that shift from exhaustion to delight. My whole body, mind, and spirit felt better. I felt so blessed.
This morning the shift was equally unexpected. I had ended my work shift at 9 a.m. I still had packing to do. Lots of it. Whatever didn’t fit into my suitcases had to be taken to storage or given away. I still had vacuuming to do. I had to go to the bank, get gas, clean out the car, make several phone calls. I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch. I had another part-time job to do in the middle of the day. I had a myriad loose ends to tie up before the long drive to the airport the next day. And I had no energy to do any of it. I was absolutely overwhelmed, exhausted, and sad, because deep in my heart, I didn’t want to leave. I dearly loved this town which I had lived in for only nine months. And the thought of leaving this place that was so special to me to deal with the impending loss of our family home plus attend to the needs of my two dear parents, one of whom was inching closer to death…. It all felt like too much.
Finally, after one and a half hours of procrastination, I put in my contacts, brushed my teeth, tried to cheer myself up with some lipstick, and ventured outside.
I confess I felt better simply stepping outside. I took a few steps, and then I saw it. There, right before me in the partially melted snow, was a perfectly shaped heart. This was not carved by human. It was the Angels’ doing. It had to be. Some snow had melted on the surface and below the surface leaving in its wake a hole that was shaped like a heart.
It was all I needed. I felt loved. I felt the gift of being alive and here in this place of Magic and Miracles.
Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!
The Gift of Transformation. It can happen to any of us at any time. And it can happen in an instant.