reginaportrait.jpg
I can’t do a better job of introducing Regina Brett than she does in the first few pages of her new book, “God Never Blinks: 50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detour,” where she writes:

 

It took me 40 years to find and hold onto happiness. I always felt that at the moment I was born, God must have blinked. He missed the occasion and never knew I had arrived. My parents had 11 children. While I love them and my five brothers and five sisters deeply, some days I felt lost in the litter. I ended up confused by the nuns at 6, a lost soul who drank too much at 16, an unwed mother at 21, a college graduate at 30, a single mother for 18 years, and finally, a wife at 40, married to a man who treated me like a queen.?? 

Then I got cancer at 41. It took a year to fight it, then a year to recover from the fight.??
 

When I turned 45, I lay in bed reflecting on all life had taught me. My soul sprang a leak and ideas flowed out. My pen simply caught them and set the words on paper. I typed them up and turned them into a newspaper column of the 45 lessons life taught me.??
When I hit 50, I added five more lessons and the paper ran the column again. Then something amazing happened. People across the country began to forward the column. Ministers, nurses and social workers requested reprints to run in newsletters, church bulletins and small town newspapers. People of all religions and those of none at all could relate. While some of the lessons speak of God, people found in them universal truths. I’ve heard from agnostics and atheists who carry the list of lessons in their wallets and keep it tacked to their work cubicles and stuck under refrigerator magnets. The lessons are posted on blogs and websites by people all over the world. 

These lessons are life’s gifts to me, and mine to you.


I had the pleasure of meeting Regina at a media retreat (or Breakfast Club) of sorts. For three days, we were locked in a room, held captive by two media coaches, until we could naturally recite brilliant sound bites. It was hard not to fall in love with her–as one of her snappy soundbites (a description of her Catholic childhood) was “It was like a church exploded in our living room!” I stole that phrase from her and used it in my media gigs. 

I can see why countless readers all over the globe are holding on to her nuggets of wisdom to get them through their days. Here she is! 
Question: I know that you hate to say which of the 50 lessons are your favorites, but I will ask you that anyway. Do you have a top ten list?
book_godneverblinks.jpg

Regina: That’s like asking my mom which five of her 11 children are her favorite, although if she had to pick one child, I’m sure she’d choose me. Right, mom?
It’s hard to pick my top ten. Part of me wants to pick the ones that were the hardest to learn, like the ones cancer taught me. Part of me wants to pick the ones that I use the most every day. Here’s a mix: 
Lesson 2: “When in doubt, just take the next right step.” I love this one because it makes every task easier to complete. This lesson is my drug of choice to fight procrastination.
Lesson 45: “The best is yet to come.” Just when you’re ready to give up, hang in there. The best could be inches or hours or mere breaths away. 
Lesson 43: “All that really matters in the end is that you loved.” This is the guiding compass point of every day. 
Lesson 21: “Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save anything for a special occasion. Today is special enough.” Cancer taught me that one in a way I’ll never forget. 
Lesson 22: “Overprepare and go with the flow.” I use it every day. It works great at work, at home and family holidays.
Lesson 28: “Forgive everyone everything.” This one sets you free for good. 
Lesson 48: “If you don’t ask, you don’t get.” I haven’t perfected this yet, but I’m much better than I used to be. 
Lesson 34: “God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.” This is my get out of jail free card. No more being stuck in the bondage of me. I don’t have to try to dazzle God by being perfect. I’m supposed to be my messy self. What a relief. 
Lesson 37: “Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.” Consider this a permission slip to joy. 
Lesson 50: “Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.” A gift that keeps giving.
Question: As a cancer survivor, which lessons do you think best apply to getting by when you feel like hell? 
Regina: 

Lesson 17: “You can get through anything life hands you if you stay put in the day you are in and don’t jump ahead.” Cancer taught me to live only in the day I’m in. In the moment I’m in. Some moments, I simply ground myself by touching the desk, the table, the wall wherever I am and say, “You’re right here. Stay put in this moment.” 
Lesson 27: “Always choose life.” Give yourself the best odds by doing all you need to do to stay alive. Going through chemo is like investing money in a retirement account. You feel the hit right now, but later in life you get to reap the benefits – by still being alive. 
Lesson 35: “Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.” Ok, so with cancer, what makes you stronger often makes you weaker first, but if you hang in there, one day you’ll feel invincible. 
Lesson 1: “Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.” Life isn’t fair. People shouldn’t get cancer. Especially children. But even cancer can bring about gifts. Ask Lance Armstrong about that bike. 
Lesson 16: “Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.” Even if you feel awful, switch couches and enjoy a different view from the window. Radiation treatments can sap your strength, but it can’t touch the power you have to change your thinking. 
Question: Let’s say you’re on a radio show, and you have one-minute to deliver your message. What would it be? 
Regina: That reminds me of that story, if a genie gave you three wishes, what would you ask for? The first wish would be for an endless supply of wishes. So I’d ask for more time, but if the radio host would only grant me one minute, I’d say this: 
We’ve all been thrown by life, we’ve all had moments where we thought God blinked, where we felt abandoned by family and friends, where we were hurt by people we loved and trusted, where we made mistakes we thought were irredeemable. 
We’ve all been lost on detours, big and small, long and short that we didn’t see coming. They come by way of divorces, diseases and disasters we couldn’t predict, much less imagine surviving. And yet we survive. Even better, we thrive, because life’s little detours can take us somewhere else, somewhere we didn’t want to go, somewhere better than anything we could have planned. 
My unplanned pregnancy at 21? Greatest gift in my life. 
Getting cancer at age 41? That awful disease led me to embrace my life and the people in it more deeply and fully than ever. 
The detours we once saw as disappointments, they turn out to be the greatest gifts life has to offer.
More from Beliefnet and our partners