“Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I” wrote US songwriter Lorenz Hart about the feeling of infatuation. It’s blissful and euphoric, as we all know. But it’s also addicting, messy and blinding. Without careful monitoring, its wild wind can rage through your life leaving you much like the lyrics of a country song: without a wife, […]
I wanted to share this quote from St. Teresa of Avila because many of you loved the prayer by Thomas Merton that said the desire to love God is enough. In this passage, another of my favorite saints basically says the same thing.
I was living an extremely burdensome life, because every time I prayed, I became more clearly aware of my faults. On the one hand, God was calling me. On the other, I was following the way of the world. Doing what God wanted made me happy; but I felt bound by the things of this world. The two seemed contrary to each other: spiritual joys, and sensory pleasures. And so, I was not able to concentrate on prayer, because my mind was filled up with a thousand vanities.
This went on for many years, and now I am surprised that I could have put up with both, and not abandoned the one or forsaken the other. Today, I know that forsaking prayer was not in my hands, because God was holding me in his. In his gentle mercy he did not look at my sins, but at my desire to serve him, and the sorrow I felt at not being able to put my desires into practice.