“Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I” wrote US songwriter Lorenz Hart about the feeling of infatuation. It’s blissful and euphoric, as we all know. But it’s also addicting, messy and blinding. Without careful monitoring, its wild wind can rage through your life leaving you much like the lyrics of a country song: without a wife, […]
I have decided to dedicate a post on Thursday to therapy, and offer you the many tips I have learned on the couch. They will be a good reminder for me, as well, of something small I can concentrate on. Many of them are published in my book, “The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit.”
Take the system that Al Gore created … the Internet. When I receive an email in my in-box, I feel pressured to respond immediately because I am a stage-four people-pleaser. I used to stop what I was working on, read it, and respond. That was until responding to email began to consume my day. When I was unable to finish my projects during working hours, I stayed up late to work, which caused another set of problems soon to be discussed.
I decided to try on a handy, dandy set of training wheels, in the form of an automated response. It said this: “I will have limited access to my e-mail for awhile, so while appreciate your writing to me, I may not be able to respond. Thank you for your understanding.”
The result? I didn’t feel guilty for not responding, and I could better weed out the important emails from those that I could discard. I left the automated response on for two weeks … long enough for my people-pleasing brain to catch on that people don’t really care if they don’t hear back from me. Duh, they are too busy worrying about themselves.