“Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I” wrote US songwriter Lorenz Hart about the feeling of infatuation. It’s blissful and euphoric, as we all know. But it’s also addicting, messy and blinding. Without careful monitoring, its wild wind can rage through your life leaving you much like the lyrics of a country song: without a wife, […]
Even women who have conceived, bore, and raised kids of their own experience depression when they are no longer in an active mothering role. I have to be honest, I can’t really relate to that right now from where I’m sitting, at the beginning of flu season trying not to think about what kinds of bugs, viruses, and bacteria are going to come home in those school bags this winter (last week’s folder contained a note saying Mono was going around, just, you know, FYI), and one day away from the evening that the princess-fairy and Darth Vader get to eat lots of creatively packaged crap just as long as they don’t smear it on the pieces of furniture that aren’t already adorned with permanent marker.
But, yes, there is very definitely an empty-nest depression, as expressed by Yolanda on the message board of my “What Do You Want From Me?” post:
I have lost the comfort of being a mom because my daughter is 17 and no longer needs me. I based my WHOLE entire being on being her mother and giving her all I had. I guess I thought we would be together forever. That is not the case. I have been downsized and laid off from almost every job I have had and now I have been let go of the most important job ever and that hurts the most.
And reader Betty wrote this comment, ironically, on the message board of my post, “Guardian Angel Reunion“:
My daughter is going off to college and my son just turned 13 in May and my daughter 18 also in May. I am now, I guess, getting some of the empty-nest syndrome, but is it really? Some days I get so low and cry until I make myself sick to my stomach.
Would any readers out there who have grown kids like to comment on how they were able to fill the void?