It was only 6:00 AM and the roads were already covered with snow. I was slated to present at a conference in New York the next morning and my flight was at 3:00. The weather channel said the storm would be over by noon, but Delta had canceled several afternoon flights already. I thought of […]
All anxiety narratives end with the fear that we are not lovable or worthy or the unspoken dread that life ultimately lacks meaning. These doubts create fuzzy lenses that change otherwise neutral events into anxiety generators and insurmountable obstacles. An unanswered call becomes evidence that we are unloved. A lost job morphs into proof we are losers.
Happily, the idea that people can have a fatal flaw that renders them unlovable is not now nor has it ever been true. If the nature of the energy field is love (see blog #3- What Einstein Knew) then we already are love so being unlovable is impossible. People can act in ways that are unloving or act like a world class jackass. That’s their behavior not their nature. Our nature is love whether it is reflected in our behavior or not. Thank goodness, because there is no way to guarantee even the best intentions will be perceived or received as loving actions.
If our nature is love apart from behavior, we need only remove obstacles to experiencing our true nature rather than change ourselves to meet some unclear standard. The way to connect with that energy of love is the same way a pianist gets to Carnegie Hall, practice, practice, practice. A pianist might start with scales, a person starts by extending love. Imagine a pool of love that starts within you and engulfs any fearful, angry, frustrated or guilty thought. When someone is irritating, obnoxious or upsetting send a wave of love towards them. Maybe the emanating love looks like silver or white light or a love-filled squirt gun that sprays the disturbing thought or covers the disruptive person with warmth and compassion. Choose an image or feeling that is comfortable and soothing.
Extending love is a mind reorientation that can be threaded into your everyday life. Fold the laundry. Take the cat to the vet. Get another job. Do what must be done. But when unsettling, anxiety producing thoughts arise, extend love toward them. If there is a thief in the house, call the police but extend love to the situation. Experiences are radically different when the mind is connected to love rather than overrun with anger, anxiety or defensiveness. With practice the field of love becomes easier to sense and the connection to it stronger. As the connection strengthens, the anxiety narrative becomes less dominant and life gets a lot happier.
Post #8 Next time: The Peace of Mind Diet