But week after week, "we were just coming out of churches really empty and not feeling fulfilled," she said. For a while, they held Sunday school in their back yard, "which we jokingly called First Church of the Gazebo." Then the Fields tried Pacific Beach Presbyterian in San Diego. There they found a congregation committed to a ministry of outreach. When their daughter asked, "Can we come back next week?"--something none of them had ever said before--they knew they'd found a home.
The Fields have attended Pacific Beach ever since, coming to worship, giving money, getting involved in ministry at a homeless shelter. But they are not members, and Gil and Pat have no intention of joining. "I'm not really into labels," Pat said. "I just kind of already feel like we are a member of the body of Jesus Christ."
The Fields are not alone in not wanting to formally join a congregation. Lonna Lee, co-pastor of Ocean Avenue Presbyterian in San Francisco, calls them "friends" of the church--people who come regularly to worship and get involved and even give money, but don't bother to join. Some will eventually, others never do. And some folks argue that congregations truly concerned about vitality and growth should listen to these "friends," that their journeys of faith can teach congregations a lot about how people view the institutional church, and about what they come to church to find.
"You have a lot of folks who are hungry and who are really looking for meaning in their lives," said Debbie Rundlett, pastor of Pacific Beach, the church the Fields attend. "They're not looking necessarily for the destination, they're looking for the opportunity to live the journey. It isn't so much about joining, it's about belonging. They can feel a sense of belonging and connecting without joining."
At Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Ky.--one of the largest nondenominational megachurches in the United States, with 23,000 members--the staff was surprised to learn that on average, people come to worship for 18 months before they're ready to join the church.
"The reason for that is partly the culture we live in," said Les Hughes, Southeast's outreach minister. "I think we live in a much more cynical culture than we did 10, 20, 30 years ago." People approach organized religion as consumers--they want to make sure before signing up that they'll get what they want. And "they want to check us out first," Hughes said, "to make sure we're authentic."
With the decline of denominationalism, church growth consultants are talking more and more about what membership means and about the importance of tracking attendance as much or maybe more than membership.
The U.S. Congregational Life Survey--the largest profile of worshippers and their congregations ever done in the United States--found that 10 percent of those sitting in the pews on the weekend when the survey was administered weren't members of any congregation. That survey, of more than 300,000 worshippers from more than 2,200 congregations, was taken in April 2001 as part of a broader body of research done in the United States, England, Australia and New Zealand, and included congregations from more than 50 faith groups.
At first, the researchers thought the 10 percent figure was so high it was a mistake, said Cynthia Woolever, director of the U.S. Congregational Life Survey. But they determined it wasn't--and figure that some people will never join.
Lee said since she and her husband, Chuck Goodman, came to Ocean Avenue more than five years ago to be co-pastors, their understanding of church membership has become "much more fluid." Her congregation, in a working-class area near the edge of the city, has 111 members but 116 "pledging units"--and much of their growth in attendance is coming from those who have not yet joined.
A woman who died last year at 99 had attended worship and been involved in the seniors group since the 1960s--showing up faithfully for probably 30 or 40 years, but never becoming a member.
So why don't people join?
There are lots of reasons, sometimes including inertia, but for many it boils down to a different way of thinking about church. Others may be couples from mixed religious backgrounds--one from one denomination, one from another--and one of them may be reluctant to sever old ties, which may be part of their family history and also their sense of identity.
And for some, living out their faith is far more important than being a member of a particular church.
But some congregations do encourage people to become full members--in essence arguing that it's a sign of deepening commitment and a growing faith. For some pastors, talking to people about membership isn't so much about rules and regulations as a chance to talk to them about commitment, discipleship and faith.
Brian Clark is pastor of Riverside Presbyterian, which was started six years ago in northern Virginia, just outside Washington, D.C., and where three out of every four people who show up did not have a history as adults of going to church.
"I really think in a healthy church, it's join because you believe," Clark said. "When you join, you are saying that you think Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior, and you will be a faithful member of this church and you intend to be a disciple. You're ready to do those things."
He uses an analogy that some people are "dating" the church--they're interested, they're attracted to the gospel message and are curious, but are not yet ready to make that commitment. "What you're really not ready for is to get serious with your relationship with God. You're not ready to say, `I surrender all."' .
