6 Things You Should Be Doing With Your Spouse That You Probably Aren’t

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Anyone who’s been in a marriage knows that it’s challenging, even when the relationship is good. If you’ve been feeling like something hasn’t been quite right lately, it could be because there are things to do in the relationship that you’ve been letting slide or simply not doing at all. While many of us know the traits of a successful marriage, we often find ourselves still falling short in many of these areas. It’s not that we lack the time or the know-how, but we often lack the focus to be intentional in our marriages. While this might sound discouraging, the great thing is that there are things we can do to make our marriages better and stronger before it’s too late. The most important thing is that you recognize when there’s a problem and understand what you might be doing to contribute to it. Here are six things you should be doing with your spouse.

Show Your Partner That You Appreciate Them

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You may think your spouse knows how much you appreciate them, but not telling or showing your partner how much you value them can make them feel like you don’t care, or that you take them for granted. This is especially common after the honeymoon phase of a relationship. You don’t have to do something grandiose to show your partner that you appreciate them. It can be something as simple as sending a cute text message, offering them hug when they walk in from work, or giving them a small “just because” gift. You’ll be surprised how much showing your partner a little extra love and appreciation can impact your relationship.

Keeping Your Partner’s Private Life, Private

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It is one thing to confide in family and friends about issues that are showing up in the marriage, but it’s another thing when you’re spreading private details about your partner and personal matters with others. You should treat your partner’s private life with respect, especially when it comes to friends and mutual acquaintances. When you don’t keep their business private, you’re betraying your partner. Ask yourself would you be OK with his friends being told the same things you’re sharing? What happens in any relationship is between the two people involved, no one else. You don’t need anyone else’s opinion, just your own. Respect your partner and keep private details to yourself.

Speak Each Other’s Love Language

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Learning the way you and your partner express and interpret love is one of the best things you can do for your relationship. Whether your marriage is in a really strong place or a really weak place, knowing each other’s love language will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner. Gary Chapman, author of “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts,” encourages you and your partner to discover each other's love language so that you can understand how you both communicates and loves best. Once you know your partner’s love language, you will know what makes them tick and respond accordingly.