Communication is called an art for a reason. If you can imagine a blank canvas where you have all the tools to create one rockin' painting. The painter has the basic tools of the trade like paint brushes and oils. They have the liberty to choose other methods to create the painting and to make it serve them. This is how communication is. We have plenty of tools to create a masterpiece, but a lot of times our relationships suffer because we are not utilizing all of the tools of the trade. In the interim, our connection and communication will start to tank. Writer Jim Rohn said to take advantage of "every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity and the emotions to affect other people." Your boyfriend's communication does stink and his communication skills are anything but an art form or you would not be reading an article on this subject. If you both tried to work in this area, we commend you. But the truth of the matter is if the communication doesn't shape up--it may be time to send him packing. Here are 6 communication signs of a bad boyfriend to consider before pulling the plug.
He doesn't listen.If your guy continues to cut you off when you speak, this sends the message that your opinion doesn't matter. However, most of us don't listen at all if we are honest. Our minds drift, we tune the person out if they are telling a long-winded story or we just pretend that we are listening by nodding our heads. This is not a game changer. However, if they roll their eyes and make the conversation just about them, then you need to bring it up to improve things. If they refuse to do anything--it could lead to more significant issues and resentment down the road. All of us are vulnerable to the pitfalls that come with any relationship. The point is to avoid fatal mistakes so you can grow as a couple. Try to be logical when discussing this lack of communication with your partner.
He is passive aggressive.He may be passive aggressive because he wants to avoid conflict. If he is mad at you, he may withdraw, he may have sullen behavior, he makes snide remarks or he procrastinates. Beneath the surface, is anger. People who exhibit passive aggressive behaviors will work to convince you that they are not mad when they are confronted. Try communicating with them in a calm matter and try to get to the root of why they are feeling this way. The chances are they will take the situation into consideration if you explain how it is impacting you.
He doesn't express himself.If you have to play detective all the time to better measure your boyfriend's feelings, the communication is simply not there. A couple who doesn't communicate and has to try to figure out what the other person is feeling is not communicating effectively. What will happen is you will start asking people for advice on how to interpret your guy's agenda. This is going to be frustrating and tiresome if you have to confide in other people more than your lover. After all, you are not a mind reader or a detective! However, if you feel that there is an honest attempt by your boyfriend to make changes, respect his effort.
He has outbursts of anger.If anger has become a standard in your relationship--this is a red flag. This kind of communication produces other contradictory behaviors such as brutality that can impact all involved. Anger may be masked with sarcasm and teasing that is marked by aversion. These unhealthy attributes will cause issues if it is not eradicated. Usually, the signs are there before we get married. If your man is expressing anger is unacceptable ways, you need to rethink your union for the sake of your future. Bring up your concerns now to get it worked out before making any other commitments.
He doesn't show affection.Intimacy is a physical sign of communication. If you feel your boyfriend lacks on this front, it is a sign you lack communication in your relationship. Author Dr. Tessina said that sex is a big giveaway that communication is breaking down. "Sex is just a physical form of communication," she explained. “If you're having trouble with sex, either you're dissatisfied and don't get enough, you feel your partner wants too much, it's a sign that your communication has problems." In order for this to work out, both of you need to have a discussion regarding the role of sex and intimacy in your relationship.
He makes you feel alone.If you are in a relationship you are not supposed to feel alone. A no-brainer, right? If you can't talk to him like a good friend, what is the point? This just means that you are both going through the relationship on autopilot. If your partner makes you feel that you can't express yourself or you can't confide in them, it is no way to live or thrive in a relationship. The entire point of a relationship is to feel connected, and not to feel detached.
We need to work as a team to communicate our passions and our differences in a productive matter. If the signs of poor communication are now an ongoing issue, you need to work it out or end the relationship. Problems will not clear themselves up, they will only get worse with time. It’s better to bring up concerns and discuss them as they arise. In the long-term, a lack of communication leads to tension and makes problems bigger that they really are. If you have done all you can, it could be time to walk away. Sometimes we can use all the communication tools and still fail as not all art is a masterpiece.