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When it comes to a relationship, someone has to fall first. It is unusual that both people come to see each other as a potential romantic partner at the same time. As such, there is usually a period where one person is waiting to move past the will-we-won’t-we phase while the other is still playing coy. The person who is pursuing the other needs to be patient. There should be, however, signs that the one being pursued is interested and that you are not suffering from unrequited love. Otherwise, you will end up waiting around forever because sometimes one person’s interest is simply not mutual. If you keep waiting for your crush to respond to your feelings and are getting no response, you need to give yourself a harsh reality check because you might have fallen into the trap of unrequited love. Here are six signs that will help you tell if your feelings are purely one sided.

They never have time for you, but you drop everything whenever they call. 

Unrequited love is usually felt deeply and passionately by one person. As such, they jump at every opportunity to spend time with their crush. They will happily rearrange preexisting plans to go get lunch with the person they are interested in or drop everything to spend a little more time together. The same cannot be said, however, of the other person. 

You are probably dealing with unrequited love if the person you are interested in never seems to have time for you. If they always make you wait days before responding to a text message or are always too busy to even grab dinner one night, the odds are that they are not nearly as interested in you as you are in them. As the old saying goes, when something or someone matters to a person, they find a way to make time for it.

You always initiate contact. Always.

Some people are more likely to pick up a phone and text or call than others. One person may have the sort of job that enables them to pause throughout the day and text while the other does not. As such, one person may usually be the one who starts the conversation. They should not, however, be the only one who ever initiates contact. If you are always the one who is reaching out, you may have to accept that the other person simply does not want to talk and that your feelings may simply be unrequited love.

You are convinced you are soulmates. Your friends are convinced you’re nuts.

Sometimes, you are not the one who can read a personal situation the best. You may be too close to it. You want desperately for the other person to return your feelings, and unrequited love can lead people to misinterpret even the smallest gestures as something motivated by passion and romance. In such cases, friends and family members can be a better judge of the other person’s feelings than you. They are not as deeply invested in the situation as you are, and so they can be more objective. They can see that the other person is not interested in you while you may be blinded by hope. If your friends are telling you that you are dealing with unrequired love, you need to at least consider that they may be right.

Their body language is closed off or stiff.

There is a lot more to communication that merely the words people exchange. In fact, it is estimated that over 90 percent of communication is managed through nonverbal methods. Among the most important and telling of these methods is body language. When someone is interested in you romantically, their body language tends to be open and welcoming. They face you and lean into your touch. Their posture is inviting. 

If the person you are interested in seems to keep their arms crossed in front of them or often shifts their weight to put a little more distance between the two of you, then you are probably dealing with unrequited love. Do not push into the other person’s personal space or ignore the signs they are showing. Instead, accept that they are not interested in you in the same way.

You are convinced that giving them more money or affection will make them love you.

When you are dealing with unrequited love, it is not unusual for a person to feel that they simply have to do more. They need to be more affectionate, give more gifts, spend more time with the other person or be more obvious about their interest. Although most people will not turn down free goodies and everyone likes to feel special, simply doing more for the person you are interested in will not make your relationship any less one sided. You cannot buy the other person’s love, and if you can, they are unlikely to be worthy of your feelings anyway.

They are uninterested in your life. 

When someone is interested in a relationship with you, they become invested in your life. They may not have your calendar memorized, but they remember that you are excited to go see your aunt or wish you good luck on an upcoming job interview. When love is only one sided, however, one person is far less interested in the other person’s life.

Unrequited love is a painful thing. You are cursed with eternal hope that the object of your affection will one day return your feelings despite the ever-mounting evidence that it will never happen. As such, it is important to give yourself periodic reality checks. If you find that you are facing a number of signs of unrequited love, cut your losses and move on. If you and the other person are meant to be, then you will end up together one day later. Until then, do not let unrequited love steal your life away.