How long will this last?

Dealing with death takes time-not just days, but weeks, months, and maybe even years.

You won't be in a perpetual state of gloom for the rest of your life. You won't always feel this bad. Grieving comes and goes. Sometimes you'll feel down and sometimes you won't.

Nature has a marvelous way of giving your mind and body a break from your hurt once in a while. You may feel sad, then be fine for a few months, then experience sadness and loss again at a later time. This cycle may repeat itself many times during your life.

There's no timetable for grief. When you feel like grieving, then that is the right time for you. If you allow yourself to grieve, the hurt will get smaller and smaller as time goes on. The wound will slowly close up, leaving a healed scar.

"The first day back to school was a bitter taste of reality, when you notice the absence. Even after the funeral I still in a way expected her to be there, like it was all a bad dream."

"I've come to realize that grief is something beyond one's control. Something else takes over like an involuntary muscle, working its way through the tragedy."

Is it wrong to go parties and have fun? >

Excerpted from 'When a Friend Dies: A Book for Teens About Grieving & Healing' by Marilyn E. Gootman, Ed.D., 1994. Used with permission from Free Spirit Publishing Inc., Minneapolis, MN; 1-800-735-7323; All rights reserved. To order a copy of this book and other Free Spirit titles call 1-800-735-7323.

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