If you never loved yourself before, now is the time to start. People are not happy when they unworthy.

It creates issues with relationships, and makes life a roller coaster of emotions. No wonder why self-esteem topics are hot on Google’s search engines, retailers, magazines, and websites.

Even on Beliefnet, self-esteem articles and pieces do seemingly well. People are hurting, and this could be a new subject for you as it was for me. Perhaps you were the one that never measured up, lived in the “wrong place,” or were verbally abused. If not addressed, self-loathing, afraid of success and toxic thoughts relentlessly follows. Ok, are you ready for the first step? Sweet. It’s about time to love on you!

Start with wrong thinking. Toxic thoughts generate bad feelings. Be aware that negative thinking is not fact. It can be wrong perceptions, assumptions, and or opinions. Over time this will sabotage self-esteem.

Thoughts like:

“Well, my associate didn’t answer my email so he or she probably thinks I suck or they are mad at me.” All or nothing thinking sounds like “I came in third place, so I guess I failed at running.”

What is even worse is diminishing accomplishments, and taking negative thoughts to another level by bashing yourself mentally that “You are a failure,” ect. Stop the negative chatter and stop comparing yourself to others. Replace negative thoughts with healthy ones. Instead of “I am a failure.” Say “I am overcome, and worthy of happiness.” “I don’t receive negative labels.”

When this happens stop it in its tracks, and say “I am not going there.”

If perfection is something you want, get over it. This perfection is unattainable and doesn’t exist, writes John M. Grohol of Psyche Central. "You’re never going to be perfect. You’re never going to have the perfect body, the perfect life, the perfect relationship, the perfect children, or the perfect home. We revel in the idea of perfection, because we see so much of it in the media. But that is simply an artificial creation of society."

When you do this, you won’t need validation from people that you’ve been searching for. Self-esteem will help become stable, and a stronger person. This change won’t happen overnight. Try to say “I love me.” I know it is corny, but it’s affirming—and along with the above, you can realize that “I am worth loving.”

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