Women have fears. We are magnets that attract negative energy … self doubts that cause us to question…Am I enough? This mindset keeps women from achieving their greatest dreams and goals. So, where do these fears and self depreciating bouts of unworthiness come from? According to research into the psyche of women , the belief that we’re not enough comes from hearing it either as children from parents and teachers to bullies in school and, even as adult from haters in relationships and marriages. At some point in life, women have heard such disparaging attacks on their consciousness for so long, they’ve began to actually believe the hype.
If we are strong in our resolve to get over the hump of this thing called “fear” and get with the program of knowing who we are and whose we are, then we will grow stronger in our truth- seeking and do the work we need to do in order to become “the woman we’ve always wanted to know.”
I grew up in a household where my mama worked just as hard as my dad, so the idea of not working and being productive was never a question as I became an adult. It was this knowledge that kept me sane in a seemingly, insane world. After I married and became a mom, my priorities shifted as I became focused on the important role of wife, mother and career woman, where I was happiest being in this new woman space. But, the one truth every spiritual being living a human existence fails to factor into an otherwise ideally lifestyle is “change.”
Change can be a scary thing. It can leave us feeling unsure and afraid to confront what comes next. We find solace that comes from existing in a world of perpetual denial. The fear of having to face the reality of change keeps us stagnant as the world keeps on turning.
When my marriage dissolved after 20 years, my children left home and my career ended, all within the span of a year’s time, I realized there was no ‘me’ anymore. I was at a loss on how to begin to lay claim to “her.” How does one start over when you are challenged by the unknown?
I’d always loved writing. I wrote a scorching expose for my high school newspaper that nearly had derailed the entire teachers and student body. (Caution- words are like bullets, use them wisely)
I once took a creative writing course early on in my marriage, on the days when my husband worked and the children were in school. I found that I loved writing stories, one-act plays and poetry. I would get numb with wonder and excitement on those rare instances when something I’d written would be published. A small check along with an acceptance was just icing on the cake.
From challenge comes growth and with growth; opportunity knocks. The world becomes your oyster and you can step out on hope and faith that it’s all going to work out, while you just stay focused on doing work that makes you shine. When you’ve weathered storms of adversity- big or small, and find strength and courage to start again, you emerge the victor.
I recall being fearful of discovering what my heart cried out for, for so many years, until I had no other choice but to concede. Giving and sharing your gifts with a critical world at large takes courage. It takes true grit; a strong constitution, a forgiving heart and a grace that only the good Lord can provide.
I’ve made so many mistakes, fallen down many times and often cried out in despair at the hand I’d been dealt- persistence pays. Small steps will ultimately build a bridge and you make peace with your past losses and regrets and you open your arms to usher in your new beginnings.
In 2008, I started sharing my purpose with other women and making a go of this new life with the gifts I’d been given. It was my season to step out from the captivity of fear and accept the favor of purpose. “What God has for me is for me.”
This journey to help empower others is not an easy trek. And yet, the journey is so much more important than the destination! It is challenging and rewarding…exhausting and exhilarating… I invite you to open your eyes and your heart. Let spirit guide you. Don’t let anyone else tell you what you’re supposed to be doing with your life.
“What God has for you is for you.” Believe it.
Clara Freeman is an author and women’s advocate. Her inspiring eBook My Life Toward Authenticity-My Authentic Woman Story is available at Amazon.com Kindle and Barnes & Noble Nook selections. Visit her blog for empowering women at authentic-woman.net.