5 Ways to Welcome Laughter Into Your Home

Praying for Laughter

by Amy Julia Becker

It’s easy for our household to become grim. With two small children and another on the way, there are plenty of mornings like this past Saturday, when I found myself barking at Penny: “Get yourself in those pants right now!” The simple tasks—using the potty, getting dressed, putting on jackets, getting in the car—sometimes take all my patience and ingenuity, and leave me with little more than anger. On Saturday, I threatened. I cajoled. Iberated them. I berated myself. It was miserable.

But then there are mornings like today, when Penny and William were in their pajamas on our bed, and I said, “After I dry my hair I think there are two little people who need to get dressed. Where are they?” And the bed exploded in giggles because Mom just asked such a funny question. Soon enough, I was laughing with them. William stopped laughing long enough to say, “It’s Penny and William that need to get dressed!” And we laughed some more.

In both cases, all I needed was to get clothes on their bodies. One ended in shouts, and the other in giggles. What was the difference? How can I bring more laughter into our mornings, into our family? I’ve been considering the question, and five points come to mind. Our children are young, but I suspect these strategies would help any household—be it comprised of couples or roommates or families at any age.

Read on for the first strategy.

Amy Julia Becker writes the Thin Places blog for Beliefnet. She is the author of Penelope Ayers: A Memoir.

Slow Down

Second, when I’m in a hurry, there’s no time to laugh. If I’m focused upon the task at hand—getting dressed, for instance—rather than the little people involved in the task, I tend to become impatient, frustrated, and angry. For our home to make room for laughter, I need to slow down. I need to acknowledge that relationships are more important than getting out the door on time. And for me to slow down in the moment requires a slower life in general, for our whole family. Two ways we slow ourselves down are by getting enough sleep and by resting from work on Sundays. It’s hard to laugh when we’re tired and cranky. But when I’ve had eight hours of sleep, and when Penny and William wake up well-rested, laughter is much more present and much more possible. Similarly, when we take Sundays to worship with our church community and eat a big family lunch and lie in bed for naps or “quiet times” in the afternoon—laughter comes more easily then.

Spend Time with People

Third, it is rare that I laugh alone. Laughter more or less requires relationship. It requires comfort with other people and time with other people. Whether it was family dinners as a child, or late night talks in a dorm room, or now, early morning giggle sessions with our children in our bed—I laugh when I’m with people. I can’t predict when it will happen, but I can structure our days to make room for Penny and William to interact with me instead of with the television or computer. For a few months this summer, Penny’s favorite activity was “knock knock jokes.” Her favorite: “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Bagpipes.” “Bagpipes who?” “Just bagpipes!” And she laughed and laughed. Being with her, in the presence of her joy, made me laugh too.

Pray for Laughter

Fifth, and finally, I pray for laughter. I used to pray for patience. But that prayer usually ended with me feeling defeated and discouraged because I had failed once again. Praying for laughter is different. It’s a chance to reflect with gratitude upon the moments of joy, the moments of delightful absurdity, in our lives. It’s an opportunity to invite God into that joy, and to ask God to give us more of it every day.

There will still be mornings where I feel defeated by the simplest tasks. But I suspect that welcoming holy laughter into our home will make those mornings fewer. And welcoming laughter will bring us closer to joy.

Amy Julia Becker writes the Thin Places blog for Beliefnet. She is the author of Penelope Ayers: A Memoir.