11 Love Lessons from Soap Operas

Relationship Tips I've Learned from Soaps

By Hillary Fields

Soap operas are my big guilty pleasure. Yes, the acting is melodramatic and the storylines are sometimes so over the top they make the plot twists on "Lost" look logical, but still, there's a lot you can learn from these daytime dramas. Whether it's "General Hospital," "Days of Our Lives," "As the World Turns" or "One Life to Live," I find them absolutely addictive because they reflect (and magnify) our own real-life relationship dramas so perfectly. I record my favorite—"All My Children"—every day and watch it in the evening after I get home from work. Even my husband has (reluctantly) gotten sucked in, sheepishly asking about the doings of one character or another. And why not? They've got it all—looks, wealth, power, romance. And yet, no one in real life could ever be as miserable as these folks.

What have these fictional characters taught me? Well, there are several secrets to relationship happiness I've gleaned from watching daytime TV dramas. Check them out...

Hillary Fields is a New York-based writer, editor, and blogger. She’s authored three romance novels published by St. Martin's Press and has contributed to Cosmopolitan magazine, the Huffington Post, DoubleX.com and Jewcy.com.

Photo credit: ABC/Rick Rowell

Respect Others' Personal Boundaries

With nearly every episode, I marvel at how little respect for personal space exists in the soap opera landscape. Just recently, I watched with disbelief as a standoff unfolded between two lovers (Ryan Lavery and Greenlee Smythe), Ryan begging Greenlee to listen to his impassioned pleas, while Greenlee demanded he get out and leave her alone--to no avail. He. Simply. Would. Not. Leave. (In fact, he drugged and kidnapped her, then took her to a "romantic hideaway" where he could spend more time convincing her of his love.) In real life, if we don't like what our loved ones tell us, there comes a time when we need to accept their wishes and not keep pushing until they give us what we want. Otherwise, it's time for a restraining order.

Don't Assume the Worst of Others (but Don't Turn Your Back on an Enemy Either)

Suspicions and feuds run rampant in soap opera storylines. The level of sheer animosity that seethes beneath—and sometimes right on—the surface of these characters' relationships is enough to fulfill anyone's quota of drama for the year. A lot of that has to do with a lack of trust. Though there's no shortage of passion, there's a huge deficit of faith in their otherwise glamorous lives. In the real world, we just can't get along being so cynical with those who share our lives. Yet, on the other hand, as Maya Angelou once said, "When people show you who they are…believe them." The lesson here is to give people a chance, but not to let them walk all over you.