Me: I saw Mrs. Miller today after Mass.
Katie: What did you talk about?
Me: Our ungrateful daughters.
(Pause. Double Pause.)
Katie: (tentatively) Really?
Me: (shrug)
Me: How was school?
Katie: It was great. I have the best lunch table ever. There’s Mona and Chloe and Logan and Billy and…
Me: How were were your classes?
Katie: Oh, first period is the best! Everyone’s in there. Nicole and Mona and Chloe and..
Me: I mean the content.
Katie: Oh fine. We have to write about Cry the Beloved Country (the summer reading) tomorrow.
Me: Okay, what about second period?
Katie: It’s okay. Only a couple of my friend in there. But the next class….
Me: (sigh)
Me: What did you do in school today?
Joseph: I don’t remember.
Me: What did the teacher talk about? Religion? Spelling? Math?
Joseph: Rules.
Me: What kind of rules?
Joseph: A lot of rules. (sigh)
Chris: Do you remember back in 1999 when I asked you if I could go to a Korn concert?
Me: Yeah.
Chris: And I came home from school and you had this page of lyrics printed up and you said if I was man enough to read them to you to your face I was man enough to go to the concert?
Me: Yup
Chris: And so I didn’t go?
Me: Yeah.
Chris: Well, Korn was here the other night…and I went to the concert.
Me: Uh-huh
Chris: And I didn’t have to read you the lyrics. So I won.
(Please, no “Well, I never” comments. It was a joking conversation.)
Me: (in the middle of some conversation with a religion subject) Oh, please – that coming from you whose faith rises and falls according to the outcome of football games.
Chris: What are you talking about, games? More like according to downs.
Me: (at the end of a conversation. David is graduated. This is not a school conversation, but about his leisure reading.) You know, David, if it bores you, just stop. The question of whether or not to finish reading Finnigan’s Wake is not a big moral issue.
(pause)
David: Hmmm. Are you sure?
Me: Now, you tell me if you have to use the potty, okay?
Michael the Toddler: (No comment)
Read Previous Post