The Queen of My Self

by followers of The Queen of My Self Facebook Page
What I have seen very clearly, right before my eyes over the years, is that women can indeed mature to very advanced ages, while staying lively and vital and full of fire and spunk. My great aunts and distant cousins twice removed were pistols. They didn’t cause harm, but they didn’t take guff from anyone. They stood their ground gracefully and powerfully and with unmatched poise. They traveled the world — alone or in pairs — when the world expected them to be propped up in a chair at a rest home. They learned foreign languages “late in life.” They taught rough-and-tumble college students twice their size and weight how to conjugate verbs. They could fend for themselves, they could make their way unafraid in the world, and they weren’t dependent on the approval of men or the dominant paradigm to validate their choices. They ruled their lives with an iron fist in a velvet glove, and they were deeply respected by all. Long before Donna Henes did us the wonderful service of voicing the vital concept of queendom, these elder women of my youth were Queens. They were Queens in the purest sense of the word, and they remained so well into their 60s, 70s, even 80s.

– Kay, MA
I have been practicing to be a Queen my whole life and every day I get closer to my ideal.
I just coined the word regaliciously. I like the way it sounds. If Rachel Ray can get in the dictionary for EVOO, maybe I should contact the dictionary people with the new word: regalicious. What do you think?

– Linda, NY & NJ


When I told my partner, Sheriden about “regalicious” from the December Queen’s Chronicles this morning, she coined another word. “Well,” she said, “it’s Queendomonium around here today!” It’s all yours! Queendomonium! We laughed till she cried.

-Susan, MA


I am 40 this year. I have been looking forward to this birthday since I turned 30. That was a traumatic year. I thought I was maybe a little off for being so anxious to get to what so many of my school friends and countless other women seem so horrified by. Then I started hearing about this Queen archetype. It suddenly made sense. I know 40 isn’t a magic number, but to me it is a signal of great things to come.

– Kim, IA


A Queen knows she is worthy based on nothing but the truth that she IS Goddess in Form

– Phoebe, NC


Being a Queen means knowing how to access my life force energy, what activates it, what zaps it, AND granting myself permission to do whatever it takes to stay connected to this inner fountain of youth!

– Daina, MI


Not sure who said “Beauty. like contact lenses, is entirely in the eye of the beholder.” I think the most important thing is that becoming the “queen of myself” is a process and an ongoing one at that.

And that the confidence and self esteem a queen radiates makes her beautiful. Her beauty comes from within and shines through her eyes, her smile , her words, and her gestures.

It comes from being your own unique self.

L.a., PA


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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to




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