The Queen of My Self

Listen to your Fairy Godmother’s advice

Take personal responsibility. While it would be nice to clean up our messes and issues with one wave of her wand, we have to be willing to take the journey she invites us on. Even in fairy tales we are asked to do our part in transforming our own lives. Before she waves a wand and snaps her fingers, she makes sure we get a life lesson unlike any other. It is the journey of becoming more of who we are meant to be that really leads us to the potential for happily every after. It is only after we take the journey – with all the scary twists and bumps and dark characters – that we are ready to take a leap of faith that leads us to the ultimate healing that changes our lives. So when you find yourself on one of those bumpy life paths, don’t ever give up hope… remember: it is all a process.

Appreciate her special support. She taps us into the Goddess within by helping us believe in ourselves. The magical accessories are just to help us fake it until we make it. The true gift is the boost of confidence. While it may seem that Cinderella’s life changed with just a twist of her wand, in truth, her Fairy Godmother represents a true mother figure, a soul friend, who reached out a hand to help her onto the next rung of her life journey. By showing her some of life’s options, she expanded Cinderella’s ability to go after the greater things in life. 

Ask for big presents, but accept whatever is given. The modern Cinderella might prefer a magical credit card with unlimited prepaid credit and a limo driver to take her shopping – and that’s fine. But if you ask for Visa Gold and a driver, and first get a Macy’s gift certificate and cab fare … accept it gratefully. The Fairy Godmother sometimes tests us before she delivers the goods. Our grace and gratitude in the face of disappointment helps us remain humble and grounded when the big windfall occurs.

Get home by midnight. The Fairy Godmother is also the voice inside our heads that guides us. She knows exactly when the magic of any given situation will wear off, and when to come home. Heed her guidance because it is always for your own good!

Wish upon a star, every night. Or, write one wish a night on a small piece of paper and slip it under your pillow before you go to sleep. Your Fairy Godmother and the cosmic crew are always listening.

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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to

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