The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

The Great and Wise Queen

The mighty Queen, the great and wise, brave and compassionate woman ruler, the reigning commander of Her domain, is an expansive, expressive, accessible, energetic archetype who represents a mature female power, authority, responsibility and influence worthy of our emulation.

There have always been exceptional Queens, royal and otherwise — inspiring and motivating examples of midlife monarchs, matriarchs, amazons, fabulous furies, sheroes and prominent leaders from all cultures and walks of life — to serve as role models for us who are striving to mold ourselves in Her image of sovereignty and strength.

Among the Hopi people, women are not considered to be completely grown up adults until they have reached their mid-fifties at least. Women who are not yet fifty are not considered mature enough to participate in the weightier matters of ceremony. Despite how accomplished they might be, how responsible, how many children they do or don’t have, their wisdom is not yet thought to be completely developed. They are considered to be still too involved in the practical matters of life and living, too distracted and preoccupied to be in attunement with Spirit — and thus their power.


The indigenous peoples of Mexico believed that a person “did not have a face” until she became an elder. It was only through accumulated years of living and the experience that age offers, as well as her willingness to accept responsibility for the welfare of her community that she could gain face.

Many cultures believe that a menopausal woman retains inside her body the blood that she used to shed each month. This blood that she preserves for herself is the fire-red source of her potency. The French have a fabulous saying that “When women lose their blood, they gain their voice.” Of course some of us have always been big mouths.

The Matriarch Queen is not afraid to speak Her truth. She has kept Her power a hidden secret, held fast just below the surface, the lid screwed on tight to prevent an accidental boil-over. Now, She burns with the passion and the power of a dormant volcano finally let loose of the intolerable internal pressure borne for so long. The fires of Her impatience have burned away all the underbrush and now She can see the forest for the trees.


Knowing through Her personal experience what is true and valuable, and having learned, usually the hard way, to be proactive, She pledges Her royal Self to defend and promote all that is precious. Fired by righteous indignation at the wrongs of the world, the Amazon Queen takes on the responsibility of Her authority with fervor and command.

We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat.
-Victoria, English Queen, 1819-1901

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to

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