The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Some Declarations of Queendom


I have taken this ongoing discussion about the definitions and descriptions of Queendom to The Queen of My Self Page on Facebook.


Q. What does being a Queen mean to you ?

A. As a little girl I wondered what it would be like to be a Queen, after reading The Queen of My Self I have a much deeper and broader understanding of just how good it is to be the Queen. Being a Queen is knowing yourself and loving yourself, so that you can move through your life with confidence and a sense of purpose. Not by any means a perfect state, it requires a willingness to learn, a willingness to dialog and more important to listen, to change when needs be. To value others and their ideas, but to know which ones are true for herself. To carry with you, in your heart, what time has shown and taught you. To love and live tolerance. And to understand that timeworn is not careworn. Being loyal and true to yourself, loving yourself is the root of selflessness, not selfishness.


– Lois, PA


A. Being a Queen is having enough life experience to truly know what I want, coupled with the motivation and ability to make it happen. Valuing myself enough to allow myself to expend time and resources on my own development. Realizing that doing these things will provide a role model for my 17-yr-old daughter as she enters adulthood.

– Cyndi, TX


A. A Queen is one who has the ability to show no mercy but decides on mercy and giving of blessings even though I have the ability to curse and hold back on those blessings. A queen must not look at things from only one point of view. She must be able to make judgment calls without malice. She must not think she is the most important. As a queen I realize that those who look up to me are far more important than they think they are.


– Karen, IN


A. A Queen rules her court with love, never fear.

Anne Marie, NM


A. A Queen believes in what she is doing without any doubt or fear:-

– Sanaz, Malaysia


A. I will be 47 this year. I have considered myself a Queen for many years. Queens know themselves completely, even the bad stuff. Queens are fully confident in their powers, boundaries, intuition, strengths, talents and feelings. However, I am also a mother to my six-year old daughter so I feel very much like a mother. So, I consider myself a Queen Mother, actually. I once read about a Polynesian culture whose ruler was a Queen Mother Who Sits on Her Golden Throne. That’s me! Yeah!


– Sheryll, CA


A. I just celebrated my 69th birthday on December 4th, so I guess I am a Queen!!! If being a Queen is part of your state-of-mind, then, Queen Donna, I too, am definitely a Queen, and I hope to remain one for many years.

– Debbie, OH


A. I thought about The Queen of My Self when during a yoga class we did the Queen pose. How appropriate that there is a Queen pose!

– Susan, CA


A. You were right when you wrote in The Queen of My Self, “there are no 10 easy steps to sovereignty.” Becoming the Queen of my own life has been the hardest thing I have ever done, and also the most rewarding. It seemed natural to love and honor my husband. It was easy to love and nurture my children. But it has been a struggle to come to love, honor and nurture myself. I am still working on it, and every day I feel more like a Queen.


– Queen Isabella, VA


A. I am a Queen. I now wear my crown. My thorns turn to jewels.

Thank you! I think I’ve been mostly missing the sovereignty aspect… getting it now though.

– Lisa, NY



Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to






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