The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Valentine Self Love

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and I was sick. I have been working seven-day weeks for a while now and I am beat. Yesterday I woke with a nasty cold, which lasted only 24 hours, amazingly. But it left me completely and utterly exhausted. So I postponed my Valentine’s date with my honey until today (yay!) and spent the entire day in bed reading and dozing. What a fabulous relief to just let go and sink into the mattress and get lost in my book. What a glorious way of loving my Self.

I just checked my emails and look what I found! I couldn’t believe it. But of course I could believe it. My life is richly blessed with much synchronistic wonder.

So now I don’t have to write what I was planning to about taking care to indulge in Self-love, and share, instead, the wisdom sent to me by my lovely colleague in Michigan. I couldn’t have said it better.


In the spirit of keeping the Valentine’s Day energy alive, I send all my dear sister Queens love today. Love for your Self. Love for each other. Love for humanity. Love for Mother Earth and all of Her creations and creatures. Love for Life.

xxQueen Mama Donna


Vantine Message

By Daina (DINAH) Puodziunas

It’s Valentines Day and I’m sick in bed!! I’ve taken everything off my schedule and decided to see this as an opportunity to give myself a day of being kind, gentle, and loving with myself.

We women are so used to pushing ourselves to do more and often feel guilty when we do take time for ourselves.


But we have to fill our own well on a regular basis in order to have it spilling over. Only then will we not have our energy drained and we will have more than enough to share with others!!!

20 Ways to become your own best friend:

Give your self permission to:

– Acknowledge your achievements.

– Eat well, sleep well, and take care of your self physically.

– Don’t engage in other people’s dramas. Ask yourself as Byron Katie suggests: “Is it my business, their business, or God’s busniess?

– Follow your passions no matter where they take you.

– Listen to your own inner voice.

– Take time to get quiet, experience inner peace, and observe thoughts without judgment.


– Release the need to blame self and others.

– Instead of listening to the reprimanding, shoulding, guilting voice….listen to your heart instead.

– Compliment others and notice good things about them, it will soften your judgments about your self.

– Accept your self exactly how you are, where you are, what you are, who you are….YOU ARE ENOUGH JUST AS YOU ARE!!

– Know your own limits. Don’t always be the one who takes on responsibilities, says yes automatically etc.

– Make your self a priority.

– Have fun and enjoy life…’s ok to do so.

– Change your mind.

– When requests are made of you, get in the habit of saying: ” I don’t know, let me get back to you on that,” or “no, I don’t want to do that.”


– Take up time and space.

– Interpret every choice and experience you have, no matter what it is, as contributing positively to your life because you make it so (no matter what anyone else’s interpretation may be!)

– Trust yourself even when you make “mistakes” or don’t know what to do immediately, or don’t know the answers.

– Allow people to be disappointed about your choices and decisions.

– Break personal commitments or promises if to keep them would ultimately be more harmful to self than keeping them.


Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to







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