The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Midlife Women Are More Hopeful than Midlife Men – Part 1


I have been inundated lately by articles about the so-called “Midlife Crisis.” Clearly it is subject very much on the minds of many, many women.

Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media — that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don’t need? (Not only do we not need these cosmetic and quasi-medical accoutrements, they are downright insulting and sometimes even dangerous.) 

These writings cover the gamut of opinions, ideas, and suggestions about coping with a Midlife Crisis, ours or someone else’s. I offer them up to you to for your interest and edification.

As always, I invite you to send me your stories — experiences, advice, and inspiration to share with our community of Midlife Queens.


Midlife Crisis or Midlife Consciousness? You choose!

xxQueen Mama Donna


Midlife Women Are More Hopeful than Midlife Men – Part 1

By Pamela Cytrynbaum 

A new poll says midlife women are far more hopeful than men because we have best friends, the close-knit group of girlfriends who have our backs: “…Girlfriends are the bedrock. The most optimistic women have an inner circle of anywhere from four to a dozen friends who ‘have their back’ and will drop everything to help in a crisis.”

This will come as no surprise to any midlife woman whose close circle of girlfriends keep her afloat. It wouldn’t be much of a newsflash but the person writing about it is Gail Sheehy, the famed author of 15 books who has no peer in chronicling the changes (‘the change’) women go through. Her seminal book, “Passages” is the ultimate exploration of women’s lifecycles.


For decades, Gail Sheehy has been our canary in the coal mine, pushing on ahead to report back to the rest of us what we need to know to live more fulfilling lives. So when I saw that Sheehy had written a piece for USA Today, called “Girlfriends are key to women’s optimism,” I paid attention. And wasn’t surprised.

According to the poll: “Midlife women are flourishing compared with men. Despite the daily gloom of economic predictions, women in midlife are more optimistic about their lives today and five years from now than men are. Surprisingly, 25% of women ages 45 to 55 give themselves a 10 out of 10 on optimism about their future, finds a Gallup-Healthways daily poll of Americans’ well-being. These women have a sense of meaning and engagement. They love learning new things. And they expect in five years to be at the top of a ladder of well-being. Only 17% of men in this age group have the same sunny attitude about their present and future lives. What accounts for this striking disparity?”


Apparently it’s all about the girlfriends we have. If you have a “strong social support and girlfriend circle” you’re much happier, the study team at Healthways Research Center found. It’s great to have close neighbors, fun colleagues, a partner or love interest….but, according to the study: “…girlfriends are the bedrock. The most optimistic women have an inner circle of anywhere from four to a dozen friends who ‘have their back’ and will drop everything to help in a crisis.”

Tomorrow: Midlife Women Are More Hopeful than Midlife Men – Part 2


Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to








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