June is traditionally the month for weddings and it is also now celebrated as Gay Pride month. Love is in the air all around. This is a juicy time of making whoopy.

But while June is the jolly season for Brides and Grooms, Brides and Brides and Grooms and Grooms, it is important to remember that the most primary and important love is that of Self Love. All relationships are built on the respect, esteem and affection that we have for our self.

 

How I Transformed My Life After 50 – Part 1

By Diane Gilman

 

“Fascinating!” said a group of TV executives on a flight from New York who recognized me as the “Queen of Jeans” with over one million loyal “Boomer Consumers” on HSN. For the next few hours we volleyed around the idea of my own reality show about the unique advantages of being a Baby Boomer. And why not? Reviewing the last four decades, I’m more at peace than when I was 20, more focused than when I was in my 30’s, more glamorous than when I turned 40, and absolutely more “at the top of my game” than when I was in my 50’s. The thought of inspiring millions of new viewers thrilled me. “We love it!” one TV exec said. “But does anyone want to watch old people on TV?” “Old people?” I corrected them. “Who said anything about old people?”

Don’t get me wrong ­— I live with the aches and pains that come with schlepping around a body for six-plus decades. And I’ve endured what felt like endless grief and exhaustion when I was my husband’s caregiver through seven years of battling cancer. When he passed, I immediately felt a life of love, intimacy, and partnership had abandoned me, too. In my mid-50’s, feeling defeated, I was alone and barely recognized myself. I couldn’t even fit into a pair of jeans. So squeezing back into the dating world was definitely out of the question. I felt lost.

Then it got worse!

Suddenly I realized the women in my family live well into their nineties. Thirty more years of hopeless loneliness? No way! That was my “Rosa Parks” moment. It was then I made the decision: “Diane, stop going to the back of the bus! You don’t need permission from anyone to live life on your terms. Just stop the clock. Age agelessly!”

Our perception of growing old is not a by-product of aging — only a by-product of ageism. Stand-up for yourself if your contribution has gone from innovative to irrelevant in your profession. Scream, “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it!” if you’ve gone from admired to undesired in your romantic life. This revolution will be televised (and tweeted, texted, and immortalized on YouTube!) but it has to start with you.

 

Tomorrow: How I Transformed My Life After 50 – Part 2

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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.

Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™: http://www.donnahenes.net/queen/consult.shtml

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The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.