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The Queen of My Self

 
Let The Resolutions Begin
By Midlife Crisis in Process  The thoughts and ramblings of a middle age woman who is beginning to realize life requires you to make tough choices that don’t always bring happiness.
 
Let me start by saying right off the bat that I love resolutions. I love the idea of starting over. A change in direction. A fresh start. The chance to redeem yourself or save yourself, generally, from yourself in most cases. It is no different for me.

I enjoy taking a moment to think about how I want life to be in the future — and am starting to understand that I can control that future — I don’t have to simply accept what live offers. I have a right and a responsibility to make this life the best it can be. Better yet, I’m reaching the stage in life when I can address my wants from life and not just my needs. I am fortunate in this way. I have lived long enough to have this opportunity. I am doubly blessed to be in a financial position where I can afford to have some of the things I want as well. I must not squander this time.

All that being said, I find myself restless with the way I live. Tired of the monotony. Work, school, sleep, repeat. Don’t think I’m quitting work or school. And heaven knows I can not afford to lose more sleep than I already do. But there has to be more to life than what I’ve chosen to take from it. Please note the phrasing of that sentence. I’m not blaming the world, I accept responsibility.

So there are going to be some changes in 2011 for me. I hope to detail them here in my blog more as a means to hold myself accountable rather than to profess any ability to implement change in my readers’ lives. Goodness! Let’s see if I implement change in my own life first! 

My first resolution is to declutter my life. I’ll start first with the obvious — the overwhelming accumulation of things that I am holding on to yet not using. Things I’m afraid to let go of because I might need it some day. Things I keep because they remind me of when I was young and full of promise and possibility. That part is difficult. The acknowledgement that I didn’t grow to be the person I thought I would be. That at times I took the easy road, the path of least resistance.  It’s time to face those facts and forgive myself for them. I can’t undo the past. But I can learn from it. I need to accept that my past is a part of who I am now. But my future is in my control.

The first step: I will clean out closets and drawers. I will get rid of things I haven’t worn for a few years. And in the meantime, there are people those clothes could help. I have nice things that just aren’t my style or size anymore, but are professional in nature. I will donate them to an agency that gives interview clothes to women rather than send them over to Goodwill.

The second step is to stop buying. I don’t need new shoes. I don’t need any more clothes. Perhaps you’ve heard of the 80/20 rule? You wear 20% of your clothes 80% of the time. You eat the same 20% of foods 80% of the time. Variety may be the spice of life, but people tend to chose comfort over spice time and time again.

There are places I will need to spend money. I will have to get a new dress and possibly shoes for my daughter’s wedding this summer. And I am considering giving myself permission to spoil myself when items that I wouldn’t normally buy — like the monthly lunches I’ve been having with my best friend from high school; the luxury of using the parking garage at college; and perhaps giving myself a trip to a coffee place once in a while to enjoy a latte and maybe even a magazine. Some down time away from the computer and the books.

This is just the start. 

I’m excited for 2011. I think the best of life is just ahead.

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The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

CONSULT THE MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™
Queen Mama Donna offers upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.

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