The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Sovereignty Ain’t Easy


from the tough love school of spiritual counseling as I do, I feel that it is
only fair to warn you — There are no 10 Easy Steps to Sovereignty.

roads leading to Queendom are diverse and many. The way to Self-esteem can be
complicated and long. Each woman must take her own path, make her own trail,
clear a passage for herself through the thick brambles that reach up to trip
her. What roads do exist are unmapped, bumpy, and full of potholes, tumbleweed
and road-kill. There are no shortcuts along the Queen’s Highway, no services,
no shoulders, no signage, but many detours and cul-du-sacs.


And the
fare can be exorbitant. As Dear Abby, Abigail Van Buren, once noted, “If we
could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we’d be millionaires.”
Like any grand journey, the trip toward Self-dominion requires stamina,
determination and the passionate desire to travel. But if we pack properly,
check our tires frequently, and take time for picnics, the adventure is
incomparable. And the destination of Self-empowerment is majestic.

Queenly assignment, should we choose to accept it, is to identify, understand
and connect all the component parts of ourselves, to attempt to develop and
balance them equally, and to maintain them all in good working order. The Self
is like a jigsaw puzzle or a quilt that promises to become a beautiful whole if
we spend the necessary time and concentration to assemble it. It is at once the
puzzle, the parts of the puzzle, and also, most importantly, the process of
piecing them together.


The Self
is the seat of sovereignty of the Queen. It is Her throne and Her domain, at
once Her base of power and Her field of operation. Stepping into our
sovereignty involves an almost alchemical process of adding, extracting,
refining, combining and recombining the myriad elements that make up our four
parts in the constantly evolving effort of perfecting the power of our best

The holy
elixir that we seek is the transformation of the painful, rejected, neglected,
wounded, unsatisfied, unsatisfactory parts of our Self, into the unified,
organized, energized, golden glory and grace of the fulfilled Queen. It is
through our sincere and complete participation in this process that we learn
how to recognize, claim and proudly proclaim our own true power.


The power of our fully engaged Self.


The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of
interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to






  • Jean Raffa

    Brava, Queen Donna,
    Breathtaking! May I quote your last paragraph in my blog? It’s beautifully worded and the perfect response to a recent comment I received about learning to hear the Wisewoman, which, of course, is an aspect of our Queen.

  • Donna Henes

    Please do use this paragraph in your blog. I am honored that you asked.

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