Their Bad Mother

Their Bad Mother

Are You There God? It’s Me, Barney.

I took the children to the Royal Ontario Museum the other day. I told Emilia that we were going to see the dinosaurs, but really, we were going because I wanted to see the Dead Sea Scrolls and the scroll remnants of the Ten Commandments.

Emilia wasn’t happy when we arrived and I told her that we’d see the dinosaurs after Mommy saw the Ten Commandments scroll.

Emilia: What are the DEMANDMENTS? And why are there TEN? Do we have to see ALL OF THEM?

Me: COMMANDments.They’re rules that God gave to people a long, long time ago.

Emilia: What kind of rules?

Me: Well, like, that we shouldn’t lie, and we shouldn’t take other peoples’ things…


Emilia: But I KNOW those already.

Me: You know them because they’re very old rules, and very important.

Emilia: Older than you?

Me: Much older than me.

Emilia: Older than the dinosaurs?

Me: Um, well, no…

Emilia: Then what were the dinosaurs’ rules?

Me: Um…

Emilia: Did God give them rules, too?

Me: Um…

Emilia: Because didn’t the dinosaurs need rules? Didn’t God want them to have rules? Did the dinosaurs all LIE AND STEAL? BARNEY DOESN’T LIE AND STEAL. DOES GOD KNOW BARNEY?

Me: Um…

Emilia: I think that we need to go talk to the dinosaurs first, Mommy. For some ANSWERS. THEN we can see those demandments.

The fossilized Tyrannosaurus had no answers, sadly. We’re still waiting to hear from Barney, but given his obvious godlessness, I’m not holding my breath.

Comments read comments(10)
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Susan (woo222)

posted October 13, 2009 at 6:25 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Thanks for the laugh, I really needed it. She is sooo smart. You’re so screwed 😉 ~Susan

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posted October 13, 2009 at 6:37 pm

Just tell her that the dinosaurs walked with man b/c they’re only 6,000 years old. So they heard the commandments too.
Or, better yet, have her watch the Flintstones. I’m sure that’ll clear it all up.
I’m guessing none of this is going to help. Good luck. 😉

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Domestic Extraordinaire

posted October 13, 2009 at 9:04 pm

So…did you get to the Demandments?

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posted October 13, 2009 at 9:06 pm

I did get to the Demandments, and they were amazing to see, really. As were the Dead Sea Scrolls generally, but, yeah.

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posted October 13, 2009 at 9:28 pm

Haha! LOVE this. I laughed so hard, I cried. They sure do keep us on our toes, don’t they? Just started reading your blog(s), sure am enjoying them!

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Ashley. Unscripted...

posted October 13, 2009 at 9:32 pm

Love the “demandments.” And I agree with a previous comment, you are in trouble. You’ve got a smart one on your hands.

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posted October 13, 2009 at 10:09 pm

We went too. But when I saw the line for the demandments I decided to skip it and just saw the dinosaurs. Again. And Colum correctly identified the Parasaurolophus from across the room. I knew they’d out-smart us, I just didn’t think it would be this soon.

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posted October 14, 2009 at 2:39 pm

This cracked me up. Her logic is irrefutable though.

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posted October 15, 2009 at 12:19 am

Your title alone was the funniest thing I read all day. Then I read your post. Hilarious. I have an Emilia too. One day she is going to treat me in similar fashion.

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posted November 3, 2009 at 1:14 pm

i love child logic! it is so hard to crack!

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