Their Bad Mother

Their Bad Mother


Jon & Kate Plus A Few Lessons In Being A Difficult Woman

posted by Catherine Connors

So, yeah: Jon and Kate Gosselin. They’ve, like, got this TV show, right? About their life raising eleventeen kids? Wait – eight, is it? Whatever. I’ve never watched the show.

Which, I suppose, means that I shouldn’t really comment on the whole sideshow that is the show and their lives. Or is it their lives and the show? Does anybody really know where the show stops and their lives begin, or vice-versa? Does it matter?

From what I can gather, Kate’s what used to be called a difficult woman. That’s what all the gossip sites and blogs and tweets say, anyway. She is, by all accounts, a spiky-haired harridan who has brow-beat her husband into a sub-manly pulp that can barely get up off the couch. She yells and scolds and harps and needles. She’s controlling. She’s bossy. She’s an alpha-female of the very worst kind. She’s an alpha-female who lords her alpha-ness over her family – and on the TV stage, no less – and that is – regardless of what anyone thinks of alpha-females in general – bad. After all, there are kids involved. A marriage. It’s one thing for a woman to be that way – bossy, bull-headed, prone to yelling – in the boardroom or in the corridors of government or even – maybe – in the privacy of one’s own home, but not – NOT – in the privacy of one’s own home on television. Kate Gosselin is, in all of her screechy, harridan-like glory, a piece of work.

Or so I’ve heard. Like I said, I don’t watch the show, so I’m limited in my ability to speculate on the specifics of her character. Maybe she is a total bitch-harridan. Maybe she’s not. I’m not qualified to say. But I’m not – despite what the title of this post implies – really interested in what Kate Gosselin is or is not. What I am interested in is whether there’s something of Jon & Kate – well, Kate specifically – in my own household. And if there’s not, whether, perhaps, there should be. By which I don’t mean, is there or should there be a bitchy, harridan-like edge to my own maternal and spousal behavior, or do I or should harangue my husband (obviously not), but rather this: do I comport myself as a mother and as a spouse from a position of power – am I, to use the psychotherapeutic vernacular, empowered, powerful – or from a position of weakness? And if it’s the latter, shouldn’t I – maybe – change that? Could I – could any mother, any woman – learn something from Kate – or women like Kate – about being unafraid to be powerful? To take charge when someone is needed to take charge? To be the tough guy, the bad guy, when it’s called for (is it ever called for)? To just be the bitch, when the good of one’s family requires it? Or is that just a slippery, dangerous slope? (One that, if the gossipnets are to be believed, leads straight to divorce?)

Is Kate really so bad? Could we – could I – maybe take a few leads from Kate? Maybe dialed back a bit, but still? Might Kate have a few things to teach us about being unafraid to be strong?

I don’t know. I have some ideas, but still: I don’t really know. It’s something that I’m going to have to think about. Over the weekend, at least – during which time I plan to watch as much Jon & Kate as I can stomach. So, can I get back to you by, say, Monday?

In the meantime, if you have strong opinions one way or another – or even just mild, entirely undifficult opinions –  I’d love to hear them.



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jodifur

posted May 29, 2009 at 8:26 am


I actually could care less about Kate’s or Jon’s personality. My issue is that they exploit their children for their own financial gain and turn them into a commodity. Every second of their life is filmed, they have no privacy. That is my concern.



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Your Name

posted May 29, 2009 at 9:07 am


A difficuly woman? Is that another word for bully?



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hootie1fan

posted May 29, 2009 at 9:10 am


Albeit a bully with really good organizational skills? Makes for a business executive but a wife?



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Their Bad Mother

posted May 29, 2009 at 9:13 am


Jodifur, yeah, the whole exploitation issue is another question entirely, one that – as someone who has been accused of exploiting her kids – I’d need a whole lot more space to address.
Your Name (?) – *IS* she a bully?



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b*babbler

posted May 29, 2009 at 9:50 am


It’s one thing to be a strong woman – to take the reins when necessary, to be forceful, to get things done.
It’s another entirely to speak to anyone with the utter lack of respect, as she regularly does to those around her (and by this, I don’t just mean her husband). We all have our less-than-terrific moments, but I’m fairly confident I don’t speak that way as much in a YEAR as she does in a single episode.
You can be strong, you can be organized, you can be efficient and you can even be crabby and bitchy – but not at the expense of stripping others of their dignity with your utter lack of respect and bullying. THAT is what is innappropriate.
If the tables were turned – if this was Jon whose behaviour we were talking about – would this even be a discussion? I daresay that there would be no discussion as to whether or not he is merely being a “strong” husband, but rather an abusive husband who is demeaning to his wife. In the end, I find this behaviour unacceptable, regardless of gender, regardless of family size, regardless of television cameras.



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Jen

posted May 29, 2009 at 9:52 am


If “difficult woman” in this instance is meant to be synonomous with ABUSIVE then yes, she is a “difficult woman”. This woman rages at her kids over eating strawberries for crying out loud. She belittles her husband in front of her children. To call her a “piece of work” is the understatement of the decade.



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Carolyn

posted May 29, 2009 at 9:56 am


I have watched the show a couple of times, but I couldn’t stomach it. There is nothing wrong with a strong woman and not being afraid to be in charge. And lord knows she needs to be a strong woman in that situation, regardless of how it came about. What I dislike is the lack of respect that I have seen. Spouses should be treated with respect and courtesy, just like anyone else, and maybe even more than anyone else.



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woot

posted May 29, 2009 at 10:16 am


Unless there’s something seriously wrong or dysfunctional with your relationship with your family, why on Earth would you consider altering your behavior towards them at all, much less due to some sort of feminist/contrarian motivation to spite Kate Gosselin critics?



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Their Bad Mother

posted May 29, 2009 at 10:24 am


woot – I’m not looking to make big changes. But what’s wrong with reflecting on other ways of doing things?
Strong women have long been attacked as bitches and harridans – I’m just interested in looking beyond the charges against Kate as being a bully to see if there’s something potentially good or useful to see there, as opposed to just damning her. Is that really a disturbing thing?



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Your Name

posted May 29, 2009 at 10:25 am


I’ve seen perhaps 10 minutes total of this show, so I’m admittedly no expert. From what I grasped of those few minutes as well as all the tabloid press, Kate has a need to control everything about her kids, home, and marriage. As someone whose personality lends itself to being overly-controlling, I can say that I’m much happier when I force myself to let go a bit. I’m a better wife and a better parent when I give my husband and kids some slack, and I think Kate would find that beneficial as well.



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court

posted May 29, 2009 at 10:31 am


Yes she should rave at her children for eating strawberries at a young age. Giving typical allergen foods like strawberries, peanuts, and shell fish at a very young age can make them allergic to it later in life.



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LSM

posted May 29, 2009 at 10:34 am


OK, I’m the second “Your Name.” Somehow my info was lost when I had to refresh the anti-spam code. :)



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perception is your own reality

posted May 29, 2009 at 10:34 am


and who are you to judge her



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frances

posted May 29, 2009 at 11:01 am


There is only perceived power in bitchiness. Or, at the very least, it is not long lasting power. It is not the power to change minds and hearts. It is just the power to bend one’s will through sheer force. Lasting change is not created and only resentment builds. That is the greatest tragedy of Kate. The harder she clings and forces her family to conform, the harder she’s pushing them way. It is inevitable.



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Della

posted May 29, 2009 at 11:28 am


Eh.
I don’t think you’re talking about emulating Kate per se, which is probably good. I don’t think she’s a bitch overall. However, she has this (in my mind) unacceptable habit of berating her husband in front of other people. I don’t think berating anyone/throwing them under the bus, be it husband, child, or employee, is a really useful/empowered course of action. Well, it’s useful for stress relief, but it doesn’t solve the problem at hand.
I’ve tried the nagging thing. I still hold on to it for special occasions or stress relief*, but I don’t count on nagging to get anything done or make a change. Other than to make my husband annoyed with me. :P
I subscribe more to the positive reinforcement school of thought.
Praise for what’s being done right. Offers of acts of service, backrubs, compliments, “the kitchen looks great, i brought you a coke zero as a thank you”, general love and attention.
I don’t see that as weak or submissive. I do see it as effective – even if I don’t FEEL loving and sunshiney happy, if I DO the loving and sunshiney happy thing, I get what I want and usually it puts him in the mood to reciprocate (being encouraging, supportive, lovey, etc) which then puts me in the frame of mind where I then DO feel like it again myself. The opposite of a vicious circle. And everybody gets what we want. That sounds empowered to me.
Also, this is on a good day. Some days – many days – I am bitchy, pushy, nagging, and bossy, so don’t get me wrong. But frankly it doesn’t much help. So it’s not my CONSCIOUS M.O.
*meaning, if i’m too hormonal or stressed, i slip back into this thinking it will make me feel better. and it does at first, until my husband is pissed and defensive and whatever i wanted is now even further from my grasp



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stillmb

posted May 29, 2009 at 11:37 am


Actually, she’s much worse. She has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
I am a child psychiatrist and I’m telling you that she should have a court ordered psych exam asap. She is a real and terrible threat to her children. She favors, mocks, and demeans at every chance. It is going to become much worse for the children now that Jon is out of the picture as she will need a new victim.



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Your Name

posted May 29, 2009 at 2:43 pm


I totally agree with stillmb. Kate needs to be evaluated as soon as possible. I truly fear for those children, now that Jon is out of the house. If she treats her family (the ones that still speak to her, that is) this poorly ON screen, I can only shudder at how she treats them when the cameras are not around.
Additionally, those children are being exploited and NO ONE is looking after their best interests- emotionally or financially. The state of PA needs to investigate.
There is a wonderful blog called Gosselins Without Pity that has been around for several years now-discussing these very same issues. They existed way before all of this publicity. I encourage everyone to read the blog.



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Rebecca

posted May 29, 2009 at 3:04 pm


Huh? You’ve never seen her and you are basing this post on her behavior based on what other people say? That makes no sense.
There is nothing wrong with being a strong woman who doesn’t take crap from anyone. I know because I am one. That’s totally different than Kate. You really need to watch the show before you post something so ridiculous as saying maybe we could learn from her. The only thing we should learn from Kate is to NOT be like her.
The only thing you got right on here is that you’ve never seen the show and that you don’t know.



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chillinoregon

posted May 29, 2009 at 4:12 pm


Kate isn’t a strong woman. She’s crossed the line into crazy, ruthless, hateful, angry, stop at nothing insanity. She seems to have lost the closeness she may have one had with her kids. She only seemed to show affection when it was convenient for the show. Almost all the time she’s ranting for everyone to give her space, to not be to close or whatever. I’m sorry but she has 8 young kids. Kids like to be close when they’re young. She gave one of her sons a hard time on the last episode when she was filling the pinata. He saw a frog and wondered if it was candy. She said something like what do you think and for him to taste it. He opened his mouth to try it because she said to and when he did boy did she turn into a real beotch to her own son. That really upset me. How can a mom treat her kids like that always telling them to give her space and stay out of her kitchen…she seems to be totally disconnected to her kids at this point. I saw a preview for the next episode where she’s at a spa in Cali. with her older daughter. I asked my daughters does that look like fun and they both said no. She would have been better off to take her kids to Chuck E. Cheeses or some place fun like that. I think TLC should cancel the show or one of the parents should go to the media to share with us how they don’t want this for the kids anymore.



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Becky

posted May 29, 2009 at 4:46 pm


Have we forgotten that this is a mother? A mother trying to deal with raising 8 children (6 of them the same age) all while under the scrutiny of the public eye. Yes, she has put herself in this position but I feel that is no reason to assume you know whats best for her household. We get to see a small fraction of what goes on in that house. And from what I have seen (almost all episodes)Kate is a harsh alpha mom yes, but perhaps that’s the role she has HAD to take to make that house work. Jon appears to be no alpha male. In a home where there is no leadership things don’t get done. It would be nice if mommy and daddy knew how to share the alpha title to get things done but sometimes a mom just has to do whats best for the family and take control.



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BrendanP

posted May 30, 2009 at 5:24 am


Modern Mom is a new website geared for mothers (obviously), that has just gotten a face lift. Modern Mom was purchased by celebrity Brooke Burke and Lisa Rosenblatt, wife of Richard Rosenblatt, the head and co-founder of Demand Media, for a small amount of guaranteed loans. The websites overhaul has spruced it up, adding Burke as the face and voice of the site, and they’ve even added features like Mommywood, a corner of the website devoted to famous moms. Mothers are certainly hard working people, just as fathers are, and both sides of the parental fence need all the help they can get, with either a no faxing payday loan or sites like Modern Mom.



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Iris Alantiel

posted May 30, 2009 at 9:13 am


Look, I don’t watch J+K+8, and I don’t know what’s going on with Kate because I have no idea what’s being reported in the tabloids. But I feel sorry for her anyway because, even if she is a bitch-harridan (to quote), she’s still a person with feelings, motivations, and reasons, and her side of the story is not being told. If, as people say, she needs psychological evaluation and treatment, she is NOT bitchy or evil, but ill.
It also could be that we’re not getting all the facts. Certainly the tabloids are choosing to slant this whatever way will sell more papers, and never mind what happens to Jon OR Kate OR the plus-eight they’re trying to raise. Some will say that’s the price of fame and she brought it on herself (and her family). And probably that’s a fair point, but it’s also probably fair to say that raising eight kids is expensive and having one’s own TV show will bring in much-needed lucre.
To summarize: those who watch the show probably don’t know the real Kate any better than Catherine Connors. Don’t judge either of them until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins.



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Mad

posted May 30, 2009 at 10:06 am


thank you for finally defending kate a bit. i had a hard time reading all these gossip sites/tabloids defending jon when he was the one who cheated (or didn’t, but speculation might as well be equal to the act). kate is a strong woman, with a career, and several children, and a marriage, and sadly the general public still has a hard time letting a woman be all of those things. no matter how “difficult” she is, a marriage is between TWO people, and she did not cheat – she was with the kids. i’m so sick of the old blame the woman for the husband cheating bit. disappointing.



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Mad

posted May 30, 2009 at 10:08 am


and @rebecca: i’ve watched the show.



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Kelly

posted May 30, 2009 at 5:31 pm


Here is an interesting story from my forum about Pa. labor officials probing ‘Jon & Kate’ complaint. This is the link to the story: http://n2.nabble.com/Pa.-labor-officials-probing-%27Jon—Kate%27-complaint-td2997452ef2585776.html#a2997452
My thoughts about the whole Jon and Kate Reality Show is that maybe they should stop being in the spotlight and try dealing with being normal parents without worrying about an audience!



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mandy

posted May 31, 2009 at 12:21 am


I watched quite a few episodes of this show, mostly seasons 1-3, but I missed the entire last season. It made me too sad to watch a couple, and a family, disintegrate on national tv. I never agreed with Kate’s obsession over cleanliness (the kids couldn’t use art supplies or play normally lest they soil an outfit), but I gave her the benefit of the doubt given the number of kids.
That being said, and you know I love your writing and I hope this doesn’t upset you, but I question writing a blog post on the topic when you’ve never seen the show. Do you know if you’re asking whether women should be strong or whether they should be a dialed down version of Kate (a person you’ve never observed… albeit through an editor’s filter). Are the two one and the same? I would argue no. But how could you counter me when you know nothing about her?
My problem with the show right now? They have publicly acknowledged a problem in their marriage (even if they don’t address the exploitation of their children), yet they continue to film. That, to me, speaks volumes.



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Your Name

posted May 31, 2009 at 9:59 am


I can’t feel sorry for Kate and what she is going through. She is so arrogant she does not believe one word about her in print is true. Jon needs to stand up for his feeling more and not let her get the last or loudest word.
The only genuine thing she said is that she knows she has been hard on him which she qualified with “but that does not give him the right to…” Everything she said had sneaky little jabs about being wronged and being the best parent. Any opinions or suggestions he has are quickly dismissed, she makes it clear everything is her way or the highway. As to the bodyguard thing, “professional relationship” she has yet to be “professional” with anyone I have seen.
She may not have had a sexual relationship with him but it would have to hurt knowing your wife spends more time with another man than you, travels, dines, and treats him in a civilized manner as apposed to what we see on TV.
If Jon though his life was prison before I don’t see it getting any better now that she has the question of infidelity to throw in his face daily. He came to the party and she did all but ignore him the tension was so thick it made me uncomfortable to watch, they should be working on their problems not filming them.



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Maria

posted May 31, 2009 at 12:02 pm


Perhaps they need to spend time with that Theology of the Body movement, where they might discover what marriage and sex are about – http://tinyurl.com/n8p3l4



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Bonnie

posted May 31, 2009 at 1:20 pm


If they had read Theology of the Body, they wouldn’t have had fertility treatments and be in this mess in the first place. (They did have fertility treatments, right?) Go knows what he’s doing when he makes one or a few babies at a time.



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Your Name

posted May 31, 2009 at 3:14 pm


I’ve wondered the same thing myself, many times. I’m the mother of infant twins with a husband that works a lot, so I run a tight ship out of necessity. I am controlling. I do like things run my way (though I’m not quite as uptight as Kate is.) I definitely nag my husband more than I’d like (I’m working on it.) I am sure if there were cameras in my house, they’d probably catch a lot of the bad and not as much of the good. There’s the rub…while I’m not defending some of the things Kate has said to Jon (especially in front of the children) the thing to remember is this is reality television and it IS edited to make it more appealing to the viewers, and viewers like drama. So you have to take a lot of it with a grain of salt. Just like the tabloids.
Anyway, I don’t think it’s good what she’s doing to these children…I’ve had people tell me that my kids should be baby models (not bragging…just sayin’) but I won’t do that to them. It’s not “normal.” I want them to have a normal life…do things other babies and children do. I don’t want to be taking them to auditions or photo shoots or making them do things that aren’t normally fun for children. Just a for instance.
I’m interested in how many commenters are getting so worked up over you just bringing up the subject. You were clearly just trying to start conversation, and admitted that you need to watch the show! I will never understand why people feel they can be so nasty just because they are on the Internet.



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churchmouse

posted May 31, 2009 at 6:41 pm


“Look, I don’t watch J+K+8, and I don’t know what’s going on with Kate because I have no idea what’s being reported in the tabloids. But I feel sorry for her anyway because, even if she is a bitch-harridan (to quote), she’s still a person with feelings, motivations, and reasons, and her side of the story is not being told. If, as people say, she needs psychological evaluation and treatment, she is NOT bitchy or evil, but ill.”
She has always treated Jon terribly. I mean aweful…so bad that some episodes it’s hard to watch. I can’t figure out why she treats him so bad, she knows she is on tape and that the whole world is watching. She has feelings and emotions, but so does her family. I read where she has alienated her family, his too. She has put herself above her children. It is no wonder Jon feels the way he does. That is no excuse for an affair but she is a cold fish. She had her whole little world mapped out in perfect order. She just didnt expect Jon to stray. And Jon can lie all he wants, the public is not that stupid.
I feel so bad for the children.



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Your Name

posted June 1, 2009 at 2:12 am


I believe when you have many children as they do, there needs to be understanding and communication on both sides. You cant be mom and dad all in one. The husband needs to do his part, and she needs to do her part. Marriage is a commitment to one another, to take their vows serious before the Lord, and raise these children as the gifts that God gave them, they are children on loan from the good Lord. It is not about money or fame unless that is what they want, but c’mon now how does Jesus fit in to their lives? Where is God at? Do they know, or do they care?



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TheFeministBreeder

posted June 1, 2009 at 12:18 pm

paperfairies

posted June 1, 2009 at 12:18 pm


You don’t need to be a recalcitrant harpy in order to be empowered. I dislike feminists that equate strength with bitchiness. In my opinion a woman that can retain her femininity, and be soft-spoken yet command attention and respect based on her intelligence and capabilities is the kind of woman we should emulate. Not someone who demeans others in order to discipline or control them



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Jon Plus Kate

posted June 1, 2009 at 3:09 pm


Jon & Kate Plus Octomom Equals GR8 Case for Child-focused Marriage Laws. See: http://tinyurl.com/n89kc4



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bird

posted June 1, 2009 at 5:50 pm


I have only watched one episode about two weeks ago. In it, Kate arranged a surprise birthday party for Jon’s 30th birthday, plus a surprise weekend away in the Florida Keys for both of them. Arranging this weekend required an unbelievable amount of logistical planning on her part. At the surprise party, Jon looked as if he couldn’t have cared less. In fact, he looked positively sedated–he had no affect, no emotional reaction. Finally Kate had to ask him, “Are you happy?” Only then did he smile weakly. I thought to myself, “Either this guy is extremely depressed, or he doesn’t love his wife–or both.”



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anonymous

posted June 2, 2009 at 11:00 pm


I feel very sad that Kate changed so much during the four seasons of jon and kate plus 8. She started really showing love to her husband, but then she was always belittely him. She has OCD and a sense that she is the only one that knows how to do things. Jon did help her but it never satisfied her. The beginning of the first few episodes she didn’t care so much about clothes, just wanted to be a mother. Look at her now bikinis all the time and expensive clothes etc. She just wants the money and fame has gone to her heaed. I feel for the children always scared to get dirty, always performing for the cameras. I don’t think they are christians. Kate and Jon have lost their way, their priorities are not the children anymore. She only thinks about herself, spas, clothes, trips showing her body. I pray that they realize that kids need their parents to put them first. So sad for the children, they need their mother and father more than all the toys, parties etc. I hope that they wake up that TLC cancels the show for the good of these angels.



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Scotch Straight Up

posted June 3, 2009 at 6:04 pm


Dang! You’re smart. Unconsciously, I’ve been struggling with how hard and unpleasant it is to be the b*tch, but until you wrote it and I read it, it remained under the surface. So, yea. It’s uncomfortable always manning the rudder and keeping people on track and honest about their intentions. It’s so appealing (to me, at least) to be liked and avoid unpleasantness. As a result, I turn my back on correcting mistakes and holding people accountable. Of course, then it gets out of hand and I look like a real b*tch screaming it all back together. Maybe a little b*tchiness each day is the answer.



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strangemamma

posted June 4, 2009 at 6:24 am


I do watch the show (and I don’t generally read comments when there are so many so forgive me if someone has pointed this out already) and I would say that for all of Kate’s b*tching and barking and carrying on (let me say, too, that I actually like the show and feel for Kate, I probably feel for John more but hey) she is not actually a strong woman. Controlling, yes, strong, no. She is afraid of a lot. Some appear to be actual phobias, some seem to be a bit of an OCD personality, some is just general unease. She barks and orders and controls everything that she can out of that fear, not out of power. I want to be an ‘empowered’ woman (if we must go with that vernacular), I want to be a tower of strength in my home, for my family, but I want to do it with respect and love not out of fear and the need to control things. I think if Kate stopped for a minute and let John be the man that he is, she’d be pleasantly surprised to find him stepping up to the plate, then she could be free to be the awesomely organized and loving mom that she wants to be instead of running around spazzing out at things. (This is why I almost never comment. Too many run-on sentences)



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Your Name

posted June 11, 2009 at 6:06 pm


I’ve watched the show over the years because you come to care for the family members and the logistics of this family are so amazing.
Poor Kate. She has an overwhelmingly challenging job running this large family and I respect her organizational skills. Unfortunately, as someone who’s seen the family dynamics, she really doesn’t have anything to teach us about being a powerful woman. She’s got a lot of power with all of her responsibility, and regrettably she abuses it.
She’s constantly snapping and snarling at husband and kids; she makes derogatory comments about them in front of others, she denies her children the chance to do normal kid things like eating melting ice cream or getting dirty playing because she sees the work it makes for her as more important than letting her kids have a normal life.
Don’t get me wrong- I understand why she’s stretched to the breaking point.There’s too much work for one mother here, + her need for perfection doesn’t help her.I’m sorry for poor Kate.
But folks don’t describe her as a harridan because she’s a strong woman that doesn’t know her place. She gets that rep because she’s let her overwhelming situation make her over into a nasty woman.
And I don’t think she realizes that she’s not only teaching her children organisation and nutrition, but also that men are inadequate fools and that it’s appropriate for women to publically deride and attack them to control them.
Poor Kate. Poor John.Poor Gosselin children. This family really needs some help



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fmd

posted June 14, 2009 at 11:50 pm


I finally did watch a few odds and ends of this show and I think it is important to see how she does behave. For instance she hits Jon and grabs his face to force him to “say” the things that she demands he say. She is never satisfied with what he does say or do. She mocks him when he mispronounces a word. (I have a vocab in the 99th percentile and I would NEVER do that to anyone!) She repeatedly scapegoats her eight year old daughter Mady as “whiney” and having a bad attitude. Why should Mady have a good attitude about being forced to perform for cameras on an almost daily basis?
If a MAN behaved the way Kate did we would without question say it was wrong! Let’s not get hung up on the word “B*TCH.” It is simply wrong for ANY HUMAN to behave the way Kate is behaving.



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posted 1:34:44pm Feb. 16, 2011 | read full post »

Buy Yourself Roses For Valentine's Day
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. -- Buddha

posted 9:07:07am Feb. 10, 2011 | read full post »

There But For A Rocking Chair: On Love and Fear and Keeping Our Children Safe
Before Emilia was born, I fussed endlessly about babyproofing. Never mind that it would be months before she would even enter the world, let alone move around it and find its electrical outlets: I was convinced that when it came to babies, there was no such thing as too many precautions taken too so

posted 6:46:18pm Dec. 16, 2010 | read full post »




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