Stuff Christian Culture Likes

Stuff Christian Culture Likes


#15 Dry humping

posted by Stephanie Drury
This is the complete inverse of waiting to kiss until your wedding day. Since you’re not technically doing it, you can technically remain pure. Dry humping most commonly takes place in the woods at church camp or in dorm rooms after Campus Crusade meetings.

How else are you supposed to wait till you’re married? By compromising with this. It still makes you feel guilty, but that’s kind of why it’s hot.

**This post originally aired on August 14, 2008, and warranted reposting as a followup to yesterday’s post.



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kenneth

posted November 5, 2010 at 10:18 am


So for purity’s sake, we’re teaching kids to use a method of sexual gratification favored by public transit perverts and pit bulls? Is the goal of modern Christianity simply to download as much pathology as possible into young minds about their humanity? Admittedly it does help keep a multi-billion dollar online porn industry alive, but it also breeds a few more serial killers of truck stop prostitutes than we really need in this country right now.



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Charlie

posted November 5, 2010 at 10:26 am


This is hilarious. I had to laugh out loud. Nice way to wrap up a week. Happy Friday!



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stephanie drury

posted November 5, 2010 at 10:36 am


Kenneth, no one’s teaching kids to dry hump. They figure it out by themselves.



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Dee

posted November 5, 2010 at 4:11 pm


When I taught college in Michigan, several of the (former) fundamentalist Christian girls admitted that many of them remained virgins by “only” doing… wait for it… anal prior to marriage. But not vaginal sex because, you know, that would be slutty.



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Brad Stubbs

posted November 6, 2010 at 11:58 am


It is a common medical, physiological, and scientific fact that infants often discover their genitals at an early age, like 2 to 4. It is during this time that any new parent will at one point or another catch their child either rubbing that area against something or basically “fiddling about” It is a natural thing that humans do. It seems to be that one of the reasons fear, guilt, or shame are associated with one’s sexuality or curiousness about it, is due to the instillment of a thought process. When “man” and by that I mean human beings started introducing to the young ones that sexuality is uncouthe(sp?) those feelings of self loathing, and shame tend to creep up on a person. God doesn’t have a problem with sexuality, if it did then it wouldn’t have given us these sexual urges. It just seems to be man’s problem with sexuality.



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Charles Cosimano

posted November 6, 2010 at 10:55 pm


Given the state of the economy, if the porn industry is pumping billions into a few serial killers is a tiny price to pay.



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J. R. Daniel Kirk

posted November 8, 2010 at 1:36 pm


I’m just glad to have “dry humping” as a post title in my blogroll for a couple of days. That might explain the spike in spam comments… :)



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Billy

posted November 8, 2010 at 3:47 pm


Dry humping makes friction that promotes scabbing, especially when wearing denim. Denim will put you on the Dry Humping “DL” for at least 5-7 days.



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Craig O.

posted November 8, 2010 at 8:03 pm


This is a Christian blog? This is a pathetic display of people playing church, but not even knowing the one who made the church. Look how far we have strayed from the original. Jesus has to come soon now just to wash your mouths out with soap.



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stephanie drury

posted November 8, 2010 at 8:14 pm


It sounds like Craig is under the impression that a) this is a Christian blog and b) that Jesus would ever do such a thing.



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Donovan Moore

posted November 8, 2010 at 8:43 pm


I love your blog. Having come out of Campus Crusade, Grace Community Church, and ccm, it is so spot on! Thanks for the laughs. In His Grip, lol



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Gaypet

posted November 8, 2010 at 9:58 pm


Wait, “people playing church” is what this blog is about. Who it makes fun of. Not what it is.



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brambonius

posted November 9, 2010 at 5:46 am


your blog makes the little baby jesus cry!!
(because you’re telling the truth…)



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Rhoda

posted November 9, 2010 at 8:36 am


Does this mean that theoretically you could combine the two? Dry hump and wait to kiss till your wedding day?



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toosensitiveboy

posted November 9, 2010 at 12:49 pm


Dry humping is a misnomer. If it’s done correctly and/or long enough there’s bound to be some moisture somewhere.
It is a very dangerous behavior. Should the fly unzip itself a little or the skirt ride up, the bumping and oh so delicious grinding would be done against scanty pretty pieces of clothing. Enough repetition and a paraphilia for this behavior develops. If further unchecked add a paraphilia for the silky scanties. Of course this will lead to X-Dressing: minor stuff at first, a purloined pair of undies, a fem scarf etc. Soon a young man can’t wait to get married so he’ll have access to his wife’s full wardrobe. And once that happens it’s only a a few steps before he catches the gay.



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Becky

posted November 10, 2010 at 3:02 pm


How did Craig O. even get to this site? A bit of googling ‘dry humping’? Tut tut. :D
captcha: which plexted



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Still Breathing

posted November 11, 2010 at 3:08 pm


I thought we had already established that there is a correlation of +1 between the amount of dry humping in the youth group and the size of the jumbotron used in worship. It’s a statistic so it has to be right (even without any data to support it.)



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toosensitiveboy

posted November 12, 2010 at 3:45 pm


Becky- I googled your phrase in quotes and it was quite hilarious with SCCL at number 13.



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Brackman

posted November 12, 2010 at 10:45 pm


@ toosensitiveboy, i laughed so hard at “And once that happens it’s only a a few steps before he catches the gay.”



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Grumpy Old Perrson

posted November 19, 2010 at 11:45 am


Brad Stubbs,
“It is a common medical, physiological, and scientific fact that infants often discover their genitals at an early age, like 2 to 4.”
Noted and well-respected sexologist Dr. Sue Johanson says it’s more like 30 minutes for baby boys to discover the pleasure of touching one’s own genitals. And that it subsequently takes more than a mother’s lifetime to get him to stop.
No blindness has ever been reported from such activities either, strangely enuff ;{O)



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