Stuff Christian Culture Likes

Stuff Christian Culture Likes


#184 Saying “Now, I know what you’re thinking.”

posted by Stephanie Drury

thinking.JPGThis is a fun little catchphrase that every pastor keeps chambered. They use it after saying something they imagine was startling.

Common uses of this phrase in sermons include:

“I know what you’re thinking. Isn’t God supposed to be a loving God?”

“I know what you’re thinking. Pastor Ed, are you going to lecture me on the evils of alcohol?”

“Now I know what you’re thinking. Crazy preacher man spouting off at the mouth about the whore of Babylon and some such.”

“Now I know what you’re thinking. Pastor Mark, what do you mean I should tithe more than 10%?”

And the most common version:

“I know what you’re thinking: easier said that done.”

This psychic revelation is often followed by “I’m not here to lecture you” or “You’d better believe it.”



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Jess P

posted August 26, 2010 at 5:02 pm


Funny. I like how they assume what I’m thinking based upon the books and Wikipedia articles they read while preparing their sermon. Creates a real sense of community.
I’ve always wanted to raise my hand during the service and ask a question.



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Becky

posted August 26, 2010 at 5:39 pm


As I was reading “I know what you’re thinking. Pastor Ed, are you going to lecture me on the evils of alcohol?” I was beginning to take a sip of wine :).



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godless girl

posted August 26, 2010 at 5:46 pm


The irony is that nobody was thinking those things at all because we already know where the pastor was going with this. Obvious sermon is obvious.
But maybe I just wasn’t shocked by anything said from the pulpit except the one time the pastor told us applause after a performance in church was sinful.



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Amy

posted August 26, 2010 at 6:11 pm


OMG THAT PICTURE.
I luckily hear that phrase a lot less now that I don’t go to a Pentecostal church and I like it that way. :)



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Meghan

posted August 26, 2010 at 6:26 pm


Silly. Like shutting oneself in a wardrobe.
It’s just another one of those things public speakers in general say when they’re not really connecting with their audience. I judge high school speech tournaments sometimes, and the less experienced speakers will often throw phrases like this one around. You hear this kind of talk in infomercials a lot, too.



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Craig

posted August 26, 2010 at 10:30 pm


Good one.



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Paul R

posted August 26, 2010 at 10:41 pm


Actually Jess, there is a Wikipedia article on you and it said that you were going to post that…



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Cheri

posted August 27, 2010 at 12:20 am


I know a pastor Ed!
:D



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Eli

posted August 27, 2010 at 12:50 am


Aparrently no one was ever brave enough to explain to the pastors what happens when they assume. :)



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cd

posted August 27, 2010 at 2:15 pm


I hate this phrase. It’s flattery that is all about distracting the audience from their bullshit detectors that are suddenly blinking red and reading “BS level: 150%”.



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David

posted August 27, 2010 at 4:23 pm


That last time he said I know what you’re thinking, I was thinking what if God really showed up. It was followed by “can I get and Amen?”



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Babba-Gi

posted August 27, 2010 at 5:17 pm


I had a single thirty year old female nurse say this to me in Sunday School. Not only didn’t she know what I was thinking, but after she said this I was thinking “now I know why you’re still single.”



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James

posted August 28, 2010 at 3:31 pm


No, Pastor Ed. If you knew what I was thinking, you’d probably throw up.



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Laura F

posted August 28, 2010 at 10:44 pm


Well of COURSE he knows what you’re thinking. He’s the one who’s telling you what to think in the first place.



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Steve

posted August 30, 2010 at 9:17 am


This was also a favorite line in “Magnum, P.I.,” where Tom Selleck would talk to the audience. It sort of worked in that show.



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Tomnomnom

posted September 1, 2010 at 8:47 pm


What I love is that when they say, “Now I know what you’re thinking, Pastor Ed, are you going to lecture me on the evils of alcohol?” that what they’re implying is that no, they’re not going to, their previous statement just suggests that they were going to. In actual fact, they are going to lecture you on the evils of alcohol, but try and convince you that they aren’t.
Essentially, what they say you’re thinking, is what they’re about to preach on.



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Tomnomnom

posted September 1, 2010 at 8:47 pm


What I love is that when they say, “Now I know what you’re thinking, Pastor Ed, are you going to lecture me on the evils of alcohol?” that what they’re implying is that no, they’re not going to, their previous statement just suggests that they were going to. In actual fact, they are going to lecture you on the evils of alcohol, but try and convince you that they aren’t.
Essentially, what they say you’re thinking, is what they’re about to preach on.



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