Rod Dreher

Rod Dreher


How to be a successful male prostitute

posted by Rod Dreher

Myrna M. sends along this hilarious column — and I know it’s hilarious because I read it aloud to my wife at the breakfast table, and she doubled over several times — that relays news about the dude who signed on at a Nevada brothel to service female customers. He recently quit for lack of any business. The columnist said the brothel’s business assumptions are fatally flawed. Excerpt:

The problem is that sex isn’t what a woman wants from a man.
If they want to make any money, they have to start giving women what they really want.
If I ran a ranch offering titillating services to women, here’s what would be on the menu:
For $20, a woman could stand in a tasteful recreation of a kitchen and watch as a man refills the ice cube tray.
He’ll put on a titillating show by looking into the freezer, using the last cubes in the tray and then exclaiming in a sultry voice: “Oh my. Look at that. We’re out of ice cubes. Maybe I’ll just take the empty tray over to the sink and refill it without being asked.”

It goes from there. I am appalled, appalled, at the accuracy of this sexist diatribe re: describing my behavior. The bit about the trash can cut to the quick…



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mm

posted April 3, 2010 at 12:34 pm


“Oh, no Marcie! I LOVE your new mom-jeans!”
(That’s gotta be worth a couple a benjamins.)



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Your Name

posted April 3, 2010 at 12:50 pm


Reminds me of an old Rodney Dangerfield joke-
Rodney was approached by a prostitute, and Dangerfield declined. She said tne “hey, for $100 I’ll do things your wife would never do” He said “Okay, here’s $100. Iron my shirts”



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Indy

posted April 3, 2010 at 12:52 pm


Heh heh heh. There’s more money to be made there, however. Dig a little deeper and you’ll see that there’s more to it than some of the stereotypes imply. You have to know what really is priceless in a relationship. Lack awareness of it and you’re going to struggle, male or female. Notice how most of the items center on material goods, based on the notion that women cherish the granite countertops, the just-so repainted and refurbished bathroom, and tv shows that deal with them. And men cherish watching sports on tv but have to learn to give that up for the house makeover shows. But we all know there are plenty of men or women who’d rather watch a history or public affairs/public policy or new shows than than either of the choices (sports or makeover shows) that Stephen offers. So the really, really big bucks are there to be made by the guy who offers relief from stereotypes and dichotomies and being afraid to be oneself. Who sits down with a person and just asks, “what’s missing in your life?” And listens to the client vent. It’s the ability to say “I love you but you drive me crazy when. . . .” without having the partner deny the problem, stomp off in anger, withdraw into silence, or burst into tears, that is a quality beyond price. Many of us have it. Some don’t As relationship experts say, most affairs aren’t about sex. They’re about what is missing elsewhere in someone’s life. Still, the column WAS funny.



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Indy

posted April 3, 2010 at 12:52 pm


Make that “news shows” not “new shows.”



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Lord Karth

posted April 3, 2010 at 12:57 pm


“Janice, I’ve arranged to pick up Tommy at school, and take Jessica to her violin lesson, and then I’ll go pick up the vacuum cleaner. I’ve already changed the baby. Why don’t you go sit down and turn on Oprah ?
By the way, I got the directions for the trip next month, too. All I had to do was ask the AAA guy.”
If that’s not worth a couple of crisp new $ 20s, I don’t know what is.
Your servant,
Lord Karth



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Indy

posted April 3, 2010 at 1:16 pm


Nah, Lord Karth, you’ve got to revise that in order to make money. The priceless part is not assuming women want to watch Oprah — or need someone to direct them which show to watch — it’s saying, “Why don’t you take a break and watch tv or browse the Net or Facebook for a while?” No framing, not being put in a box with other women, etc.
Offered as someone who actually doesn’t know anyone, male or female, who watches Oprah, although obviously there are plenty of people out there who do.



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mm

posted April 3, 2010 at 1:39 pm


I’d pay twenty dollars to see Indy put down the damp dishrag.



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Indy

posted April 3, 2010 at 2:14 pm


What’s a dishrag?



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Your Name

posted April 3, 2010 at 2:14 pm


The sexiest thing a man can say to a woman is, “I was thinking about what you said.”
This means, first, he heard what you said, and second, he values you enough to go off and think about it rather than just go mentally hmmm and move on.
For that I will refill my own ice cube tray.



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Your Name

posted April 3, 2010 at 2:16 pm


The sexiest thing a man can say to a woman is, “I was thinking about what you said.”
This means, first, he heard what you said, and second, he values you enough to go off and think about it rather than just go mentally hmmm and move on.
For that I will refill my own ice cube tray.



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Indy

posted April 3, 2010 at 2:27 pm


Seriously, MM, why would you imply under this thread that I’d make a suitable male prostitute, someone you’d pay to see do something that would make your life as a woman (which in the context I have to guess you are) better, as opposed to some other poster here? Is it because I don’t fit into the neat little boxes and pointed out that lots of people don’t? That I know women who like sports and politics and men who don’t watch sports and instead enjoy reading or cooking? Most people actually don’t divide into traditional categories quite as neatly as Stephen seems to imagine. At least that’s been my experience. If yours differs, by all means, point it out. But trying to force a template on me ain’t gonna work. I’m just me, not a threat to you or anyone here.
I think what Your Name said is worth considering, works for both genders.



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David J. White

posted April 3, 2010 at 2:40 pm


You know, ladies, if your husband doesn’t do his share of chores around the house, it’s probably because his mother didn’t raise him to. My parents raised me to do all sorts of housekeeping and housework chores, inside and out. And I’m single and live alone, so if I don’t do it, it doesn’t get done.
If a man acts as if it’s his wife’s job to wait on him, it’s probably because that’s how his mother treated his father, and possible him too as he got older.
In other words, if a man doesn’t do his share of the chores around the house, it’s the fault of the women in his life for not expecting and demanding more of him. I’ve seen an awful lot of women treat men like helpless babies, and then complain when they act that way.



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mm

posted April 3, 2010 at 2:41 pm


I agree completely.



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mm

posted April 3, 2010 at 2:45 pm


With Indy, that is. (DJ White inserted before I could respond. But he’s right, too.) I think I’ll go outside, now.



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sigaliris

posted April 3, 2010 at 2:50 pm


I recommend this episode from the inestimable webcomic, xkcd:
http://xkcd.com/714/
Warning: contains the f-word. It’s not about housework, people. It’s about being treated with consideration as a human being. Why would anyone want to have sex with a person, male or female, who refused to do that?
Indy is looking good to me right about now–or would be if I didn’t already have that position filled by the likewise inestimable Mr. Sig. ; )



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lawrence

posted April 3, 2010 at 3:35 pm


This is just a ripoff of a January Tom the Dancing Bug comic:
http://www.gocomics.com/tomthedancingbug/2010/01/09/



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Indy

posted April 3, 2010 at 4:32 pm


Hahahaha, thanks!
I do think David J. White is on to something. My Mom and Dad, who had their children somewhat later in life than was common for their generation, were non-trad in some ways. Dad was an artistic, thinker type who was lucky enough to have a good paying job where he could use those qualities. Mom, who only worked outside the home for a short period, had a business school background. She cooked – but she also was the one in the family who did the banking and the taxes. Each of my parents seemed grateful to the other for being supportive and an uncomplaining help-mate. I grew up with the idea that either the man or woman could do a lot of the things that needed doing around the house, that you roll with those things as they happen.
The thing that caught my eye in Stephen’s otherwise funny riff was the part about granite countertops. I know a lot of women who really don’t cook. And a lot of men who are foodies who not only know how to cook, they are more accomplished than their wives or girl friends. Look at the prepared foods section of Whole Foods and you’ll see a lot of people of both gender picking up stuff. I don’t know a lot of women who in thinking about homes, think first about granite counter tops, although some of my friends would. The reason they don’t watch Oprah is because they work and her show comes on in the late afternoon in the market where I live. If my friends TiVo stuff, it usually isn’t Oprah. As for the who controls the remote thing, a lot of couples I know have TVs throughout the house. They sit together to watch some stuff and split up to watch other things.
Hey, hope the weather’s good your way, MM. I just got back in, it’s great out here on the East Coast.



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Cecelia

posted April 3, 2010 at 4:35 pm


yeah -I agree some mothers ruin men – of course – men allegedly grow up at which point in time they could make a choice to not expect from their wife what they got from Mommy. I dated a guy in college whose Mom would pick the pits out of watermelon before she gave it to him – watched this and knew this guy was not going to work out.



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Bugg

posted April 3, 2010 at 11:41 pm


“The thing that caught my eye in Stephen’s otherwise funny riff was the part about granite countertops. I know a lot of women who really don’t cook. And a lot of men who are foodies who not only know how to cook, they are more accomplished than their wives or girl friends. Look at the prepared foods section of Whole Foods and you’ll see a lot of people of both gender picking up stuff.”
This comment hit home, and made me smile.
My dad died the day after Christmas. And he did most of the cooking, when he was home(having been an NYPD cop)and both parties were okay with that division of labor(and it’s why in part I’ve never had a problem cooking and cleaning).My mom got married at 20, and managed after raising 3 boys to become a special ed schoolteacher and retire after 25 years. She grew up in a house where her mom and dad owned an Irish bar in Manhattan and probably (being off the boat Irish) made mashed potatoes either at home or at work every day in front of her. And her husband made them at every big family meal for the last 40 years.
We’re having family meal tommorrow, and mom is making mashed potatoes.
And this afternoon I get a call from her asking how you make mashed potatoes-how many pounds, yellow or white, butter, salt, pepper, garlic, how much.She had no idea, really. It was kinda fun.
Happy Easter to you and yours. Amd mashed potatoes for everyone.A darn good mom,too,so hopefully we’ll have potatoes half as nice.



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Richard

posted April 4, 2010 at 9:01 am


Men certainly have their blind spots, but good grief, guys, step up. If your wife can be turned on by some guy taking out the trash or refilling ice trays, or listening to them, your marriages are in deep doo-doo.
Make the first step easy on yourselves and get an ice-maker.



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elizabeth

posted April 4, 2010 at 10:44 am


30 Rock recently ended an episode with Tina Fey watching the new “porn for women” cable station. A handsome young man asked her how her day was and invited her to talk to him, while he promised to listen, nod in understanding and say “hmm” where appropriate.
Every mother of young children I’ve known would pay for that.



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Marifasus

posted April 4, 2010 at 12:31 pm


I urge everyone to watch the clip mentioned by Elizabeth, it’s hilarious!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/137834/30-rock-kabletown-for-women#s-p1-sr-i1



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Kennethtife

posted August 6, 2014 at 11:22 pm


Autel MaxiSys Pro?? http://maxisys908.com ,Automotive Diagnostic & Analysis System with Prestigious Quality, Perfect Diagnostic Tool for Shops and Technicians



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