Beliefnet
Parenting on Purpose

 

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Everyone is born with the belief that they’re the center of the Universe. You come equipped with a healthy dose of self-love, as love is all we really are. If this is the case, why is it that so many children as they are growing up, find it difficult to love themselves?

Over time, you learn that the world does not actually revolve around you. Everyone is focused on their own desires and life paths. It may seem that what you want is near the bottom of the list of what is important to anyone else, including your family members.

You are constantly surrounded by negative messages when you turn on the television and often by the world at large. Some are directly aimed at you, perhaps by someone who is stressed and just didn’t think before speaking. Others may be throwing the negativity around intentionally, looking to hurt feelings and ruin the vibrations of others. On top of that, you have the messages that are sent out to the world in general, ready to be absorbed by anyone willing to take on the burden, and not having practiced how not to.

There you may be, ready to be influenced by all of this energy that doesn’t feel good, so it’s important to know how to become immune to this phenomena. Children may become very practiced at repeating and absorbing what doesn’t feel good in the world. Over time, children will come to value themselves less.

This is why it is so important for parents to teach their children about loving themselves. This is something that is taught best by example. You must demonstrate to your children that it’s okay to value themselves and know that their desires are important. Showing them that taking care of yourself must come first so you can be an inspiration to others. This means you must practice self-love for yourself. Checking in with your Internal Guidance System will help you to recognize how it feels when you’re in alignment and acting out of love, as well as how it feels when you’re doing things you think we should, which often doesn’t feel good.

Your children will watch this behavior in you and see that you have given yourself permission to focus on what feels good to you. They will recognize that this does not make them feel less loved, but in fact you are more available to be open and loving. As they get older, they will be the first ones to remind you that you’re more fun to be around when you’re taking care of yourself.

The second step to teaching children about self-love is to show them they are loved and lovable. Of course you love your children, but you’re human. Sometimes you get tired, stressed, overwhelmed, and you don’t remember that your kids are sponges looking to absorb whatever you send their way. Show them that being human means experiencing all emotions, but never diminishes your love.

Maya Angelou instructed people to ask themselves, “Does my face light up when my child enters the room?”

This is what she was talking about. Your children can feel when you’re delighted to see them. This knowledge that they are loved raises their self-image and gives them the best foundation for a happy, loving life.

Your thoughts are welcome.
© 2014. Sharon Ballantine. All Rights Reserved.

 

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