Beliefnet
Parenting on Purpose

purple_jacket_and_pink_bootsImagine it’s your child’s first day of school. Maybe it’s a new school, a new grade, or just their first day ever. You want your son or daughter to do well, to make friends, and yes, to make a good impression. After all, everyone knows that first impressions last, and you only want what is best for your kid.

Now imagine that your son or daughter comes downstairs having gotten themselves dressed, all excited and ready for that important first day of school. Their face is shining — clean and filled with joyful anticipation. They are clad in an ensemble that they clearly picked out with care and declare themselves ready for this important day.
Can you guess where I am going with this?

You see your darling child, and you look at them in their outfits with masked dismay and realize there is no way you would have chosen this for them. You are now faced with the dilemma of whether to allow your child to go to school dressed “like that” or upset their feelings and make them go and change.

This scenario happens every day around the world and wherever kids don’t wear uniforms to school. You want your kids to dress themselves and to wear clothes that are comfortable, but sometimes their choices are not so comfortable for you.

The key to ending this common parental frustration is to not march the child back to their room and demand they change clothes. The key is to shift your own attitude about the situation. This isn’t always easy to do on the fly, but given that aside from potential wardrobe malfunction issues, clothing choices are not likely to be the end of the world. This is an excellent opportunity for parents to practice letting kids make their own choices and let go. Clothes are one of the first ways that children use to express themselves.

Parents have the option of choosing to obsess over their child’s choices. Parents who dress more conservatively might not be thrilled at the swirling color and pattern combinations their child loves. On the other hand, more flamboyant parents may be distressed with a child who dresses like a young accountant.

Rather than focusing on having your child “fit in” or match your preferences, you should encourage your child’s creativity and personal style. By wearing clothes that feel good to your child, your son or daughter is in alignment with their Internal Guidance System. Because they feel good, their vibration is up and they are more apt to have a positive outlook on the day and create in a more positive way.

If you choose to control your child’s choice in clothing, you are telling them that you do not trust their decisions. When you make them wear clothes they don’t like or feel good in, not only is their vibration going to be lowered, but they will doubt their own ability to make choices. This doubt can creep into all facets of their lives and not just their closets.

It is true that your choice in clothing says a lot about you. Let your kid tell the world they are confident and true to their inner spirit. Clothing choices are just the beginning.

What are your thoughts?

© 2014. Sharon Ballantine. All Rights Reserved.

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