Parenting on Purpose

Parenting on Purpose


Are We Being Fully Present With Our Kids?

posted by srballantine

 

Father and daughter day at the beach collecting shells togetherMost of us go through life doing our best to manage all of the noise and distractions that are present in our jobs, at home and out in the world. It can truly be an activity in not losing our minds. Our world is buzzing with business, people and tasks that require our attention.  Is it any wonder that we can have trouble being fully present with our children when we have a million things on our minds that require energy from us?

I believe that we want to be fully present to those around us and most especially with our kids, but to be fully present we can use the tools of intention, focus and attention. Perhaps we aren’t able to change the circumstance of our lives in being less busy, but we are in control of the moment-to-moment experiences we have with our children.

Intention is a good place to start, as intention is what drives the energy toward our goals.  Are we intending to be more present? I found that when I intended to be more present with with my kids, I was halfway there. Then, I had to focus specific attention toward them, and stay focused on the conversation or exchange at hand.

Lastly, I needed to pay close attention to what my kids were saying. This is important, as we will want to respond accordingly.

What does it mean for us to be fully present with our children? It can mean:

1)   Pausing whatever activity or chore we are involved in, sitting down and facing our kids.

2)   Engaging in eye contact whether we’re sitting with them or from across the room.

3)   Listening to our kids talk and not speaking until we’re sure they have finished.

4)   Postponing other conversations such as cell phones or television when our children are interacting with us.

5)   Choosing to let situations with our kids unfold rather than trying to direct them.

6)   Grounding ourselves and being fully present in our own bodies, so we stand a greater chance of being fully present.

In a world full of noise and distractions, our kids want to feel valued and heard. As we stay present to what they are saying and experiencing, we develop meaningful exchanges and deeper relationships with them. We know from our own experiences how it feels when others are present with us.

Please feel free to comment!

© 2014.  Sharon Ballantine.  All Rights Reserved.

 



Previous Posts

Are Action Figures Promoting Drugs?
Much has happened in the world of toys this week, namely with the retail store Toys R Us. They released a toy, dealt with a firestorm and pulled the toy off the shelves. That’s fast action, perhaps because the

posted 9:59:12pm Oct. 22, 2014 | read full post »

What You Say To Your Kids~ Did You Mean It?
We are all human. Sometimes you say things you don’t mean. Or, you say things because you’re reacting rather than thinking. Maybe you just said something in jest, teasingly. Unfortunately, these words are

posted 5:05:36pm Oct. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Is It Okay To Hit Your Kids?
Is it ever a good idea to hit your children in the name of enforcing good behavior, or for any reason whatsoever in the name of good parenting? Taking into account the varied belief systems that may guide you

posted 1:56:36pm Oct. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Turning "No's" Into Possibility With Your Kids
  There was a time in my early parenting when my children would make a request about something they wanted, and my knee-jerk reaction was to say no. It wasn’t something I gave much thought to, it was m

posted 2:06:29pm Oct. 11, 2014 | read full post »

Keeping Kids Safe In Wake Of TV Violence
  Today’s media experts claim that watching television does not have a negative impact on kids. The exception they say,is made when your kids watch too much television and are therefore not getting eno

posted 3:56:24pm Oct. 08, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.