Greetings Tushkateers! How are y’all doing on this Kick Tush Tuesday? I’m okay. A-okay. Fabulous, in fact, and that’s not to say that every single moment of my life is a cake-walk or a sweet treat. There are little minefields here there and everywhere. Like when people say…well, let’s just say, ‘mindless things’ to peeve me off. (Peeve Off: An attempt at not being too crass.)
For instance, while boarding a plane via a slow moving line, the ‘gentleman’ behind me says, “I sure hope no fat people sit next to me.” To which I replied with daggers shooting out of my eyes, “I’m a thin person in a fat body. I represent. Watch it buddy.” Of course, he had no idea what I meant. But still…my buttons were pushed and he got the idea.
And then there was a friend who said to me, “You know, you were nicer when you were fat.” Really? Really? Are you kidding me? I made it clear that it wasn’t that I was nicer; it was more like I wasn’t a doormat willing to go along with his agenda.
True enough. Even though I permanently removed my excess weight 13 years ago—a baker’s dozen—people still make anti-fat comments that push my buttons. Some people attack my slow eating style (not done yet???) and there was that one person who was critical of my style, my tight jeans. (It’s not like my jeans are that tight…what are they even talking about?)
As you journey toward and arrive at Sveltesville, it’s important to note that when people change in any way, shape or form, the change can upset other people’s apple carts.. On a subtle and even unconscious level, their universe looks different. They are unnerved.
It’s important to remember that it’s not about you; it’s about them and their skewed vision of things.
The “attacker” is more than likely overcome by a flurry of uncomfortable feelings. If they feel threatened by your new lifestyle, your new svelteness, your beauty, your calm, your fabulous hair … anything … they may lash out. Their emotions are spilling out and over.
What to do when people spill out and over and, in the process, ‘peeve you off?’
- Stay cool man, real cool. – No point in escalating the negative vibes.
- Remember – it’s not about you. You are not responsible for other people’s issues.
- Do NOT counter attack. I know; it is tempting. You think that if you tell that person off, you’ll feel better, and maybe for a nanosecond you do, but ultimately you are a kind, general, compassionate person and it’s best if you simply express how you feel about what they said.
- Take in a deep breath. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Again!
- Smile and walk away.
- Control Your State of Mind. Remember, dear Tushkateers, you may have some influence with regard to others, but you cannot, you do not control them. Their actions are their own. Tend to your own ‘inner garden.’
- Share Your Experiences. Let these ‘insults’ and micro-aggressions go. Tell a friend. Leave a comment.
For more insults to injury, Join Our Lady of Weight Loss’s KICK in the TUSH CLUB/FB!