Beliefnet
Our Lady of Weight Loss

Slip out the back, Jack. Save yourself. Leave the party before the second dessert course.
When baking, substitute half the oil required with applesauce!
Cut yourself a piece of sheet cake from the middle, where there is less icing!
Don’t need to be coy, Roy. Be assertive – ask the waiter to broil your fish and hold the buddah!
Hop on the bus, Gus! Or skip – or jump. Just keep on shakin’ your booty.
Treat yourself to a Root Beer float: one can of diet root beer and one scoop of lite ice cream.
Drink light-beer instead of regular beer.
Try fat-free, low-cal pudding vs. the heavy stuff. And for an extra treat, plop a dollop of cool whip free on it!
Substitute egg-whites instead of whole eggs in your recipes. Two egg whites equal one egg.
Drop off the key, Lee. The car key that is and walk!
‘Fry’ up some turkey bacon (instead of bacon) in a non-stick skillet. Yum!
When eating out and ordering a salad, ditch the croutons.
Make a new plan, Stan. A winning plan and stick to it!
Set yourself Free!
*Paul Simon’s song “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” was written after Simon’s divorce from his first wife Peggy Harper. The song quotes a mysterious woman as saying there must be 50 ways to leave your lover, leaving a loop-hole for Simon to only offer five ways in the chorus: “slip out the back, Jack; make a new plan, Stan; you don’t need to be coy, Roy; hop on the bus, Gus; just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free.”
If Paul Simon can take artistic license, so can Our Lady of Weight Loss.
How do you lose your blubber? join the Kick in the Tush Club community and let’s discuss!

Join the Discussion
comments powered by Disqus