Slip out the back, Jack. Save yourself. Leave the party before the second dessert course.
When baking, substitute half the oil required with applesauce!
Cut yourself a piece of sheet cake from the middle, where there is less icing!
Don’t need to be coy, Roy. Be assertive – ask the waiter to broil your fish and hold the buddah!
Hop on the bus, Gus! Or skip – or jump. Just keep on shakin’ your booty.
Treat yourself to a Root Beer float: one can of diet root beer and one scoop of lite ice cream.
Drink light-beer instead of regular beer.
Try fat-free, low-cal pudding vs. the heavy stuff. And for an extra treat, plop a dollop of cool whip free on it!
Substitute egg-whites instead of whole eggs in your recipes. Two egg whites equal one egg.
Drop off the key, Lee. The car key that is and walk!
‘Fry’ up some turkey bacon (instead of bacon) in a non-stick skillet. Yum!
When eating out and ordering a salad, ditch the croutons.
Make a new plan, Stan. A winning plan and stick to it!
Set yourself Free!
*Paul Simon’s song “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” was written after Simon’s divorce from his first wife Peggy Harper. The song quotes a mysterious woman as saying there must be 50 ways to leave your lover, leaving a loop-hole for Simon to only offer five ways in the chorus: “slip out the back, Jack; make a new plan, Stan; you don’t need to be coy, Roy; hop on the bus, Gus; just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free.”
If Paul Simon can take artistic license, so can Our Lady of Weight Loss.
How do you lose your blubber? join the Kick in the Tush Club community and let’s discuss!
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About Our Lady Of Weightloss"Janice Taylor is a 'kooky genius'"
~ O, The Oprah Magazine
Janice Taylor is a Weight Loss Coach and Certified Hypnotist, author, artist and motivational speaker. She is the author of Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal and All Is Forgiven, Move On: Our Lady of Weight Loss's 101 Fat-Burning Steps on Your Journey to Sveltesville (publication date May 15, 2008). Janice is also the creator of the popular e-newsletter Kick in the Tush Club and a 50-pound big-time-loser.
Books By Janice:
- Kick in the Tush Tuesday: The One-Minute Vacation!
- Eat This: Lose Weight – Divinely Pious Pears
- Weighty Confession: Forgive Me for I Have Sinned
- Kick in the Tush Tuesday: Rejoice, Your Motivation Is in the Toilet?
- Puzzled? By the #Root
- Eat This: Lose Weight – Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss-Green Eggs and Ham Recipe
- 7 Quotes: Pondering the Meaning of Life
- Weight Loss Sins: How Much Do Thong Underpants Weigh?
- Kick in the Tush Tuesday: how to…Wake Up Happy
- Puzzled? Wise words from the Dowager Countess of Grantham