Our Lady of Weight Loss

Our Lady of Weight Loss

It’s a BMW Monday: Bitch, Moan and Whine

I only just heard someone use the phrase BWM this past week, and I took to it like white on rice. In my humble opinion, we are all entitled to at least one BMW per day.
I invite you to take this opportunity to get whatever is on your chest, off your chest. Go for it!
There are no rules for BMW’s. You can moan about anything you please, and remember – the moan may not sound horrific to the person who has ‘volunteered’ to hear your BMW – and that’s okay. This is for YOU. Having said that … here follows my BMW, which may not sound like a big deal to you, but for me it was! Thank you, in advance, for listening!
My Monday BMW.
I went to a local café yesterday to meet up with some of my friends for an early morning breakfast (8:30 a.m. on a Sunday … what were we thinking?).


I was still kind of … well … to be perfectly honest … feeling the affects of a Saturday night Karaoke party … so I thought, I’ll order some poached eggs for breakfast. Protein will perk me up.
Poached eggs are fantastic (with salt and hot sauce – oh and a dry piece of toast to dip into the yoke). They are as clean an egg as a hard-boiled egg. No calories added to it in the cooking.
So, I said to the waiter, “I’d like 2 poached eggs, with 2 slices of dry toast and a small fruit salad, please.” And he said, “Poached eggs are not on the menu.” And I said, “Oh well, perhaps you could ask the cook to make them.” And the waiter said, “We don’t have the equipment for a poached egg.”
Okay … so here’s my BMW … there is no equipment for a poached egg!!! You throw it on a few inches of boiling water.
This is not the only restaurant in my neighborhood where I have encountered problems with poached eggs. I live in a section of New York City where poached eggs are not known. How can that be!!!??!!!!
What to do? Aside from bitch about it.
I am printing out instructions on how to cook a poached egg, and I am mailing it to all the diners and cafes I frequent in my neighborhood, asking them to please teach their cooks/chefs to make poached eggs! Will I have effectively created a neighborhood that knows how to whip up poached eggs? Possibly, although I doubt it. But it will give me an opportunity to really get this BMW out of my system!
How does one cook a poached egg?
What’s your beef? Your BMW? Leave a comment or write me!

  • Aline Torres

    This reminds me of that Jack Nicholson movie – Five Easy Pieces – where all he wants is some tuna salad on a plate and the waitress keeps telling him that he’s going to have to have the sandwich because they don’t have just tuna salad on a plate. He gives her a snappy answer, something to the effect of “make the tuna sandwich then take the tuna out of the bread and hold the bread between your knees.” It’s a classic Jack come-back. Really, how hard can this stuff be?
    Did you ever get your poached egg?
    Happy BMW!

  • kate

    love this idea!!!!!! my bmw is about housework…..the never ever ever ending mind numbingness stressmakingness of it….and the fact that some people are really good at it and make me feel like a piece of crap. Can i have another one……just a quickie?? my other bmw is about infertility and stupid people who tell me to just RELAX!!!! phew…thanks allxxxx

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