O Me of Little Faith

O Me of Little Faith

The Only Horoscope You’ll Ever Need

A couple of weeks ago, the Internet blew up when Parke Kunkle, an astronomy instructor in Minneapolis, noted for the Star-Tribune that due to the Earth’s axis wobble and something called precession, astrologers are currently one month off in their Zodiac signs.

Which means EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW ABOUT WHO YOU ARE (based, of course, on when you were born) is apparently wrong.

To make matters even more confusing, Kunkle suggested that astrologers were neglecting a 13th Zodiac sign, “Ophiuchus the Serpent Bearer,” which ought to be added to the original twelve. And suddenly Ophiuchus became the new sign for people born between Nov. 30 and Dec. 17.


Which includes me. Forsooth! Now I am no longer a Sagittarius but some kind of parselmouthed “Serpent-Bearer.” (Here’s a good overview of the whole kerfuffle.)

But I didn’t really pay much attention to the story because this whole astrology/Zodiac thing is absolute nonsense (or to be more accurate, the constellation-alignment part isn’t nonsense, but using it to predict your life and define your character is).

What DID get my attention were a few of the zeitgeist-capturing posts that began to explain exactly why astrology was nonsense.

The absolute best one was this post by David McCandless and the geniuses at Information Is Beautiful. They analyzed the content of 22,000 daily horoscopes at Yahoo and graphed the most common words appearing in star sign predictions. Lo and behold, at least 90% of the words in all the different horoscopes were the same. Regardless of your sign, they were all saying pretty much the same thing.


Here’s the chart they built based on the word frequency.


Then, based on the common words, they developed a generic, meta-horoscope for everyone, every day of the year.

Instead of checking yours daily, just read this once and you should be set:

Ready? Sure? Whatever the situation or secret moment, enjoy everything a lot. Feel able to absolutely care. Expect nothing else. Keep making love. Family and friends matter. The world is life, fun and energy. Maybe hard. Or easy. Taking exactly enough is best. Help and talk to others. Change your mind and a better mood comes along…

That’s good advice, friends. I urge you to take it, regardless of your sign.

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posted January 24, 2011 at 9:53 am

A friend of mine is a Tarot reader by profession…yes, I feel weird about that. But, he said that this switch up is good because it will allow people to realize who they really are now. He believes that many have been living false lives because of the inaccurate Zodiac charts.
It makes me sad, though, because he left Christ for this. THERE’S a deconversion story for you!

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posted January 24, 2011 at 11:26 am

It’s interesting to me that Susie calls her friend’s transition from Christian to Tarot Card reader a “deconversion.” That seems pretty egocentric. I would imagine that her friend would think of it, if he thinks about it in these terms at all, as conversion to tarot reading, not from Christianity. The word “deconversion” implies to me that the only acceptable conversion is to Christianity. I wonder what her friend thinks about that?

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Jason Boyett

posted January 24, 2011 at 11:46 am

You make a very good point. I tend to think of the process of leaving Christianity as a “de-conversion” as well. But you’re right that it assumes the rightness or certainty of a specific viewpoint. (After all, there aren’t any Christians who talk about a person “de-converting” from unbelief, but rather converting to a more acceptable belief system.)
I wouldn’t quite categorize such language as egocentric, but rather religion-centric — you’re either coming to or departing from the speaker’s religious system. Obviously, any exclusive religion is going to prefer those converting than de-converting, and that’s expressed in the language we use.
Either way, it’s worth noting how much bias we infer just by the words we use.

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posted January 24, 2011 at 1:19 pm

The only sign I am concerned with is the “Hot Now” sign at Krispy Kreme.

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posted January 24, 2011 at 1:23 pm

@Gordie: Sorry. Didn’t mean to offend. I was using a word from another blog post.
However, after reading some writings by my friend, I think that he would be fine with the word. He feels that he “stepped away” from the religiosity of the Christianity which he practiced. He describes the experience as leaving a structured religion to finding the simplicity of believing the way he feels he was created to believe.
Just a thought. And I’m very sorry if I came off as egocentric. That was far from my intent.

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posted January 26, 2011 at 7:50 am

And Suzie your friend is absolutely nobel in making a transition to what he believes. After all, isn’t that what christ was into belief?

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Sis PJ

posted January 27, 2011 at 5:15 am

Instead of reading or intertaining horoscopes, or the like, why don’t we just read God’s Word (the Holy Bible) to know what we are to do (deny ourselves, pick up the cross and follow Jesus), act like (be transformed by the renewing of our mind and conformed to the image of the Son and therefore be Christ-like and take on the fruit of the Spirit), think/meditate on (think on the goodness of the Lord and meditate on God’s Word). As Christians, if it does not line up with the Word of God, we should not even entertain it. If we do so, we are getting out of, or already out of, the will of God. Horoscopes, tarot cards, palm readers, etc. are not based on truth (Jesus is the truth) but are primarily based upon “feel good” things (how can we please our flesh). Being a true Christian will involve suffering just as Christ suffered for us. But our suffering will not compare to the glory which is to come. Horoscopes and the like won’t tell you stuff like that. If it’s not truth, then it’s based on lies and we know that satan, the devil, the anti-christ is the father of all lies. Let’s stay away from such and seek the face of the our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

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Prince Ray

posted January 27, 2011 at 8:05 am

I once asked God, if I should go this way (Horoscopes), for advice. After a short time, he said, “Go to them, but, when you need help “Don’t come to me, go to them” Guess, that answered it for me!.
As for me and my house we will serve the Lord…
Besides, wasn’t it Moses or Abraham who asked God to stop the world’s time for one day, and it was done. That alone would make Horoscopes a day off!.

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posted January 27, 2011 at 8:51 am

Sis PJ and Prince Ray you two could not be more right. In 2008, I signed up to have my horoscope sent to me for free. This happened for about a year. Then the following year, I noticed that she was telling me some of the same stuff from the year before. It was word for word. I got a revelation from Jesus last year around April. Ever since then, I denounced all of that stuff, including the sorority I had pledged, deleted all of that horoscope email and repented. James 1 clearly says that if any man lacks wisdom, let him ask of God who gives liberally and abraideth not. You are right. If we want to know what to and will of God, pick up his holy word and it will tell us! Praise the Lord!

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Sis PJ

posted January 27, 2011 at 9:54 am

Praise the Lord, GodsPrecioiusAngel! You have an awesome testimony about how the Lord delivered you from horoscopes and brought you out of that sorority. I have researched and found that most, if not all, sororities and fraternities are based in false god worship and they have you pledge to something or someone other than Jesus Christ. They may throw in something about God but they deny the Son and what He’s done for us on the cross. Also, sororities, fraternities, and other secret organizations are based in secrecy (like a cult); i.e. they won’t tell you everything up front, you have to join first before you can know the deeper things (like the Mason’s organization). But thank God for Jesus! As the Bible speaks against things done in secret and how they are shameful, so too must we speak out against anything that is contrary to God’s Word. God bless you and again, Praise ye the Lord!

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posted January 27, 2011 at 10:10 am

I think the real sadness in the horoscopes is that people turn to them for guidance instead of turning to Christ! People are so desperate for answers that they will turn to advice that can be found on candy wrappers, or fortune cookies. We need to do better as a religious community to bring these folks back to the flock. Not by making them feel bad or telling them they are going to go to hell, but that when you find Christ, you find Peace and Love!! Your relationships and your life will get better once you make that realtionship with Christ a priority!! God’s Glory is wonderful!!!

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posted January 27, 2011 at 11:27 am

Since this conversation took an unexpected turn into discussing the supposed satanic work of fraternities and sororities, I thought I’d let people in on some of what God is doing right now in fraternities and sororities across the country. You can read real testimonies at and see how brothers and sisters within the system are reaching people that normally wouldn’t give someone the time of day who wanted to talk about Jesus. And just like the ivy league schools that get branded as secular hotbeds, there are redeemable roots that the Greek system was founded on. Most chapters were founded for Christian fellowship. Granted, they have drifted far from their roots, but they ARE being redeemed! He is making all things new, including fraternities and sororities.

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posted January 27, 2011 at 11:33 am

You guys are all so sweet and your enthusiasm in surely known to Him. I read my horoscope for a lot of years, the reason being that it didn’t seem to have hurt the Magi, and I don’t hold it against people who do. We ought to be careful not to burden those weak in the faith with lines like “the Bible tells you everything you need to know,” because the truth is, it won’t tell you whether to take the job in Illinois vs. the job in Michican, or whether to go with your mother’s wishes for your wedding or your mother-in-law’s.
I have found that if I move in a certain direction, if it’s the wrong one and I’m prayerful, he will close the doors one way and open them another. He is big enough surely to get you to the right place. As well, horoscopes can be *very* disappointing when, in this economy, they tell you you’re going to come into some money, and then you find nine cents in your driveway, ha ha! I can almost hear Him up there, “Don’t blame me; you asked for it.”

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posted January 27, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Simply put I have never put my faith in the stars. I have put my faith in the one who made them.

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posted January 27, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Thank goodness,
Now that we know for sure horoscopes are fake,, Christians can stop saying that they are Satanic and stop believing that witchcraft has any reality to it either and stop picketing against the Harry Potter stories
And perhaps churches can officially apologize to all the ‘witches’ they tortured and hanged now that we know what they were doing was just an innocuous myth.
Whew. glad that is settled!

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DST 2004

posted January 28, 2011 at 9:05 am

In response to Carol:
No, the Bible will not tell you verbatim what you should do, but it does tell you to seek ye first the kingdom of God and all of his righteous, and all these things will be added unto you (Matthew 6:33). If any man lacks wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to every man liberally and abraideth not(James 1:5). Trust in the Lord with all thine heart soul and mine and lean not to your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path(Proverbs 3:5-6). Basically what I am saying is that if you ask the Lord, he will let you know whether or not to take a certain job or what direction to go in. We fight against our flesh everyday. It’s our will against God’s will. In regards to the horoscope, ask God for his guidance and he will let you know, which is basically through his word.

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posted January 28, 2011 at 10:07 am

In response to Carol:
The Nagi were not reading/using horoscopes. There’s a huge difference between astrology i.e horoscopes/witchcraft and astronomy i.e the study of the stars with regard to discovery etc.
In response to G:
Witchcraft is very real and is condemned by God in the scriptures. Christians are admonished to stay away from it in all it’s forms whether so called bad e.g spells, voodoo, seances, hexing etc or so called good e.g horoscopes, tarot card readings/crystal balls, ouija boards, and yes even the seemingly insignificant Harry Potter movies.
Deut 18: 10 There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch, 11 Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer. 12 For all that do these things are an abomination unto the LORD:

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Rodger D

posted January 28, 2011 at 12:30 pm

@ Prince Ray
I don’t think anyone could have said it any better thank you very much. I think your on the right road God Bless you and yours and everyone for that matter !.

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posted January 28, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Now day there are alot of angel card reading are u to say this is also a sin as I see them as a way for god & angels to communicate to those who can understand his word and wishes in a easier form of communication , any opionions or comments??

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Gary Mac

posted January 28, 2011 at 7:54 pm

If one has to resort to horoscopes for his future then he is overlooking the purpose of Christ all together. God sent a Spirit to you to open His kingdom to you and His purpose for you — The REVELATION OF THE CHRIST — is Christ in you: not some hocus pocus guessing or wishing about future events based on the stars or time and put together by wishful thinking. His assuredly is if we have His Spirit then nothing is hidden concerning our being. There is no guess work in Christ, either you have His revelation or you don’t, if you don’t then you resort to things like horoscopes which have no substance at all and a false sense of reality where you grasp for the unknown. .

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posted January 28, 2011 at 8:20 pm

In response to Patsy,
In what way is witchcraft very real??
They can actually produce curses that work?
They fly around on brooms??
They talk to the dead? Name one instance of someone actually talking to the ‘dead’?
That scripture was written more than 2,000 years ago from oral tradition that was at least another 1,000 years old.
At that time they believed the Earth was falt, that heaven’s floor was the earth’s sky and it was a ‘Dome’. They believed that basically if you could climb high enough you could actually touch the ‘dome’ or as the Bible calls it ‘Firmament’.
They also believed in Dragons and the like.
I will say it again ‘THERE are no such things as ‘witches’that have any occult power that is ‘magical’ It is a stupid superstition that persists.
I call it stupid because, people have the opportunity to become ‘educated with the ‘truth’ about the world and nature but still insist and persist in superstition like witches and talking to the dead. Go find 1 person that can prove they talk to the dead and let me know where and how to get in touch with them.
And as for’passing’ through the fire.. where do you find Pagans and witches doing that to their children????
That is like saying that ‘Jews’ kill and and drink the blood of Christian babies. ABSURD!! Stupid!!
Hec, I can’t even find a Christian church where things they claim ‘mystically’ happen.. really happens and I have never seen nor heard of ONE proven case that the occult works.
Ignorance and superstiotion!
As far as burning, actually there seems to be more HISTORICAL incidences of Christians killing people, burning and hanging they thought were witches than ANY statistic showing that the witches did that.
IN fact, Christians do it to each other.. Ever read FOXX’s book of Martyrs!
No, the Christians have a darker history of killing and ‘sacrificing infidels and heathen’s than has ever been attributed to VooDoo, or witches or Harry Potter!\

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Jack W

posted January 30, 2011 at 5:33 pm

You have your religious fellows mixed up. God stopped the sun for Joshua and his battle at Jericho, but you did raise a good point and I’m jettison my horoscope readings.

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