O Me of Little Faith

O Me of Little Faith

Jesus Is Coming Back! Look Pretty!

Based on commercials now airing in Superior, Wisconsin, a local jeweler is having a Second Coming Sale. Larry Falter thinks the End of Days is imminent, so he’s pledged to offer his jewelry for 50%…maybe until Jesus comes back.

“I believe we’re really close to that day,” he says in the ad. “Nonetheless, here and now, if you want jewelry I have access to millions.”

1. That’s a really understated “nonetheless,” right?

2. Yes, that’s totally what I would do if I thought life on Earth was drawing to a close: I’d buy a tasteful tennis bracelet for my wife, and maybe a pinky ring. You can’t take it with you, but you might as well look all sparkly and bejeweled for the Rapture.


Watch the ad below. Note how the charming introduction depicts explosions in an apocalyptic wasteland, then cuts right to Falter in his store.

Falter seems to be serious. “I’m talking with people about Jesus Christ and talking to people about jewelry,” he told the Minneapolis/St. Paul City Pages newspaper. “We’re finding that people are coming and doing a little of both.”


Probably. As in, “We’ll have to listen to this guy warn us about the apocalypse, honey, but if you can make it through the evangelism we’ll save big!”

Will the sale really last until Jesus comes back? We’ll see.

According to Harold Camping, Falter will only have to slash prices until May 21, 2011.

According to Jack van Impe and/or the ancient Mayans, the sale should be on until late 2012.

Or, if mankind’s history of End Times date-setting is any indicator, things will be 50% off at Falter’s store for a long, long, looooooong time.


[H/T: Travis Thompson]


Comments read comments(12)
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Charlie Chang

posted December 14, 2010 at 10:48 am

This guy is a really smart marketer. Don’t you think this is a ploy to get attention and generate sales?

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Jason Boyett

posted December 14, 2010 at 11:03 am

Oh, yeah. Clearly it is. It’s no coincidence that his End-Times sale happens to kick off during the 4th quarter, just in time for Christmas. It’s excellent marketing. But as cynical as I want to be about that part of it, he really seems to believe it. This is not an IRONIC Second Coming sale, but a sincere one.
Which is perhaps the weirdest sentence I’ve ever typed.

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Julie Anne Fidler

posted December 14, 2010 at 11:10 am

Maybe I’ll luck out and Chik-Fil-A will take this marketing approach.

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posted December 14, 2010 at 11:11 am

I think that his desire to reach “the lost” is honorable. But I’m not so sure that his methods are really all that great.

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posted December 14, 2010 at 11:16 am

At least he didn’t say, “We’re closer to the end of time now than we’ve ever been.” That would have made it worse….but only by a little.

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posted December 14, 2010 at 1:28 pm

Isn’t any Christmas sale essentially a First Coming Sale???? Just sayin’ …

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posted December 14, 2010 at 4:15 pm

You’d think with all the money he had made from the Left Behind series that Tim LaHaye wouldn’t need to be hawking jewelery. But with a smooth velvet voice and jewelry as his passion, I guess we could expect nothing less.

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Taylor Sloan

posted December 14, 2010 at 4:59 pm

You’d think he’d just give it away if the end of days were at hand. I mean, what’s he going to do with the money? I on the other hand—not believing the end to be clearly at hand—could use some free jewelry. I could hawk that stuff, man. Maybe pay off some student loans, pay some bills, maybe buy some groceries, etc.

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posted December 15, 2010 at 1:18 am

I don’t understand this at all. What is the pitch? Is he really evangelizing AND selling jewelry in the same thirty second spot? I seem to remember others buying and selling goods outside the Temple… They weren’t too thrilled when Christ came. –Paul

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Charlie's Church of Christ

posted December 15, 2010 at 1:53 am

The very fact that he’s having a second coming sale makes him a bit wacko in my book, and therefore I’d be cautious about doing business with him.

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Cecelia Dowdy

posted December 15, 2010 at 5:54 am

Stupid. Simply stupid!

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Maria Van

posted May 16, 2011 at 12:37 am

I just came across another group with a new perspective in disputing Camping’s prophesies. They say that “Jesus is here now.” Check out their billboard which I think will stir the pot a bit.

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