O Me of Little Faith

O Me of Little Faith

Dogs + Airbrushing = Awesome

There are some photos that are so jaw-droppingly weird, they don’t really require commentary. But I’m a writer and I can’t help it. Must…be…snarky.

Molly and her poodle, Skipper, thought it was just a harmless, pretty peacock they saw in the woods that day. Unfortunately, they were wrong. It was a deadly peacockupine — an unnatural peacock-porcupine fusion cooked up in some nefarious government lab — and it attacked poor Skipper with a barrage of razor-sharp peacock quills, aimed squarely at the dog’s backside. If not for a burst of inspiration, fueled by Molly’s above-average airbrushing technique and a few tequila shots, Skipper would have ended up looking pretty silly.

When I was 14, my dad used to tell me that spending too much time playing that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game at the arcade would drive me insane. I used to scoff. Seriously. A love for TMNT driving a person completely crazy? Doubtful.

I think I owe my father an apology.

As a child, Brenda had dreamed of someday having one pet, and one pet only: a dragon. She was devastated when her dad refused to buy her one, resorting to all those ridiculous excuses about its dangerous fire-breathing and tendency to hoard gold and the possibility it might eat her friends. So she got a poodle instead, and for the next decade, resented her dad with the white-hot hatred of a thousand suns. Imagine how horrible she felt years later when, upon opening a beauty/airbrushing salon for pets, she realized she would have been happy enough with a dog that merely looked like a dragon.

Dissatisfied with conventional methods of pet abuse, Molly decided to turn her standard poodle into a chicken. That she was awarded for this act of senseless-yet-creative act of domesticated violence was icing on the cake. Or, as she might have said, “spray-paint on the dog.”

[H/T: @pwinn]

Inexplicably, you can see more photos here. I am not even kidding.

Comments read comments(11)
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posted December 2, 2008 at 12:34 pm

How is Michael Vick worse than this?

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posted December 3, 2008 at 9:01 am

wow. way too weird. I’m not sure whether to laugh, cry or cringe.Finally got you up on our e-mail update list! Looking forward to meeting you and your family!

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posted December 3, 2008 at 2:13 pm

Poor doggies. Where are the pictures of their airbrushed masters? Who will stop these Philistines?

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Angela Hart

posted December 8, 2008 at 2:03 pm

In a not-too-mildly weird “Fake Angela” sort of way, I secretly wish someone would spray-paint me.Just reading your blog after a blog sabbatical (aka more work) over the past 2-3 weeks. I can see that you’ve really taken to this twittering. You make a good point…well, two good points actually – for the writers of the world and I’ve even impressed with the way you spin community. So here’s my challenge: what about the whole not being present to what you are actually doing because you are constantly twittering (I’m using the actual verb here) with keeping the world, that’s not in your real-time world, in the know. And the whole idea of something not really feeling real or valid unless you tell the world? I read a twitter recently (via Facebook) that said: Where is the Starbucks “tip jar” b/c I always like to tip them? Of course my snarky self wanted to remind my Christian brother about left hand/right hand etiquette but I refrained. …and I’m starting to digress. And rant. Peace out. ;)

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Jason Boyett

posted December 8, 2008 at 2:45 pm

Angela:Glad to have you back. In reply to your challenge about the biggest potential downfall of Twitter (in my mind), I totally agree: If you are constantly whipping out the iPhone so you can type in what you are doing, then you are never actually “drinking coffee” or “chatting with @jasonboyett” or anything like that. What you are honestly doing is “typing in a status update on Twitter,” or possibly “jabbing at my iPhone while momentarily ignoring my dining companion.”And while I love the creative possibilities of Twitter, and the community possibilities of Twitter, I very much dislike the distraction of Twitter. I decided that if I was going to use it, I needed a rule. It’s this: I can only update if I am at the computer doing something else. No breaking away from real life to narrate into the computer or phone. That’s one reason I don’t have an iPhone, nor do I even send text messages. It’s good to get away from the computer. Very good.

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Angela Hart

posted December 8, 2008 at 3:03 pm

See, you’re one up on me. I have an iPhone. Like you’re rule. And for the record, I am not your Twitter conscious. You can tell me to shut up and mind my own business, and the business of those whom pay me good money to mind to theirs. And If I do ever get to twittering, I feel certain that the first person I’ll follow is FakeJason.

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Jason Boyett

posted December 8, 2008 at 3:11 pm

@Angela:I would never tell you to shut up and mind your own business. But FakeJason might. But only because he has 1) no social filters; and 2) no conscious either.

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Jason Boyett

posted December 8, 2008 at 3:13 pm

Conscience. Not “conscious.”I just misspelled one of the words my 8 year-old daughter got right on her last spelling test.Sigh.

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Angela Hart

posted December 8, 2008 at 3:51 pm

Easy turbo…I misspelled the word too. But I’m glad your daughter didn’t.

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Melanie Lyons

posted December 9, 2008 at 4:12 pm

They are like a train wreck,disturbing, yet I can’t look away.

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happy dog

posted July 19, 2009 at 6:43 am

The Chinese have the thing in mind…. Where will the madness end?

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