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Posted below are the finalists for the biblical fake band names contest. It was hard to pick a top 5, so I went with a top 6. Because I make the rules.
Thanks to all of you who submitted names. Most of them were pretty good. I picked the finalists based on a complex point system of my own devising.
Points were given to each submission if it had the following traits:
1. It was lifted directly from the Bible, word-for-word.
2. It came from the King James Version.
3. It contained a proper name beginning with the letter Z. (Shut up. I make the rules.)
4. I could totally imagine a band with this name along with their genre of music.
Points were deducted for the following:
1. You took too many liberties with the text, i.e. you summarized rather than quoted a verse.
2. If I looked at your reference verse and found a name better than your submission in the same verse…but you totally missed it.
3. Only a bunch of lame-os — or a Christian hardcore punk band — would ever call themselves that.
4. I probably wouldn’t wear a shirt with that name on it.
So the finalists are below, in a convenient poll format so you can vote. So vote. I’ll close the voting on Friday at noon (central) and announce the winner on Monday. I’m not supplying the names of those who came up with the top 6 entries, but it’s not like you can’t look them up or anything.