When someone acts thoughtlessly towards us, it is a similar thoughtlessness in us that responds. In other words, our own hostile reactions take no thought for anything outside of what they call into account for their suddenly heated existence — so that the only awareness we possess in these times is that low level of…

It takes little effort to see how much we suffer. Look at people’s faces, or read the newspaper. Everywhere people’s hearts ache. Yet if you ask most of them about their own lives, they will lie about their confusion and unhappiness. “No, I don’t have any pain in my heart,” they will say. “Look at…

“Turning to learning” begins with the honest recognition that our present approach to solving personal problems just doesn’t work. This may come as a surprise: Learning to live without recurring problems begins with losing faith in our habitual responses that tell us how to be free of them. Losing confidence in your own heated, or…

These three words — I can learn — are the most powerful three words in any language. Nothing in the universe can hold down that rare individual who clearly realizes that he or she doesn’t know what’s in the way of his or her happiness, but who is willing to find out. If painful patterns…

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