Letting Go with Guy Finley

Letting Go with Guy Finley

Power Over What Disturbs You

This time of year, all kinds of animals in nature are on the move, the leaves are swirling around, winter is bearing down upon us, and it’s hard to miss the fact that everything is changing… everything that is except for those parts of us that resist life’s natural changes and get fixated in self-punishing states.

Whenever you begin to feel “stuck” in some negativity, remember that real self-change begins with seeing that Real Life is change itself. This means there is no condition that can hold you captive without your unconscious cooperation. Withdraw it! Wake up! Walk out of yourself by changing how you see what you call your life. Realize that while the contents of your life may come and go, turn dark, or suddenly seem delightful — regardless — these things will pass.


Learn to look at any moment with the quiet understanding that, in reality, nothing in life is fixed. Knowing this to be true is power over what disturbs you. Resting in the awareness of this truth while working to stand upon its higher ground, you come upon the life within you whose nature is the unchanging witness of these movements. This self dwells outside of change, even as all that changes moves through it.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment carol fleury

    i like this it helps i thought i was going crazy thank you very much…..

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Sherry

    I believe in what you say whole heartedly. I belong to a Coda Group and living in the now is what we stress all the time. Living in the past brings depression, living in the future bring anxiety, but living in the present is a gift. I am with someone right now who is hurting terribly from within. He was always in control (so he thought) and is retired now. He has no direction and very lost. He drinks all the time and is very angry with everything. He has three DWIs and is scared stiff about what will happen and yet he still hasn’t stopped. We were together many years ago and his relationship with my son was not good. He blames my ex-husband and myself for things that happened and he is not entirely wrong. My ex-husband told my son then 16/17 never to listen to my friend and he didn’t mean anything and my son listened. That is a terrible age to begin with and my son was very lost. He resented the way my friend had a close relationship with his own children and my ex-husband just didn’t care. That was 20 years ago. My friend moved in with me and has gone away for 3 months for rehabilitation. He was good for a week and went right back to drinking. He says he doesn’t hate my son, but that my son would have to do something wonderful for him to have anything to do with him. The day I left 20 years ago he said the same thing and when my son went to talk to him at age 17, he said he had an attitude and he couldn’t live with him any more. He now wants him to do the same thing. As I think about this I wonder sometimes if he just wants to be acknowledged. I told him being in the moment would help. Letting go would also help, but he holds this grudge and sadly I guess we can’t be together because I will not put my son in that position again. I also do not want to live with my friend as long as he is still drinking. I pray for a miracle, but I just don’t know. He is a good man, but very confused. His only childhood with his father was brutal. They made amends as he and his father grew older, but the pain is still there. I’m sorry that I am rambling on, but my heart is very heavy these days. I try and live in the moment knowing it works, but sometimes it just gets very hard. Thank you for listening.

    • Guy Finley

      Hi Sherry,

      My name is Kate and I work with Guy Finley at Life of Learning Foundation. Your note reminded me of a sentence at the very beginning of Guy’s book, The Secret of Letting Go — he says, “Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.” This is what we forget sometimes when all seems dark and heavy. It’s only in letting go of what clearly doesn’t work that allows a new, brighter path to open up. Persist in your work on yourself and you will find that that is the best way you can help those you love as well.


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