Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

QUESTION: How Can I Keep My Past Issues from Hurting My Present?

QUESTION: I got an email from Maggie, who has read some of my book and is struggling with her current boyfriend. She said they had a wonderful relationship, except for the bad issues from her past about falling in love. Jason is the type of guy who has many women friends because most of his colleagues are female. He has guy friends too, but not as many. Maggie has trust issues from being burned and cheated on in the past which never dealt with and they were all coming up.

Maggie’s boyfriend has never given her any reason to believe that she can’t trust him but she keeps comparing him to the ones who hurt her in the past. She’s becoming possessive and even spying on him when she can. It’s hurting the relationship and Maggie wrote that she’s terrified that he’ll get disgusted and leave her if she continues on her path. but her past continues to haunt her.

: It’s normal to feel nervous or jealous of your partner having lots of friend who are the opposite but unfair to him/her and you. Trust does take time to build. Too many of us give it away fast, whether it’s with a romantic partner, a new friend, or a colleague. We give it without waiting to see if they really are trustworthy. People need to earn your trust with actions over time, not just words or good intentions or your desire for them to be for real. It sounds like Maggie’s guy has earned her trust but she won’t give it. He’s been open about his female friends. So this is Maggie’s own issue.

For Maggie, or you if you have memories from your past that affect how you respond in the present, I recommend that you leave the past behind you!!! It only hurts you. I live in the now. Looking back holds you back. When I had doubts whether I should trust a boyfriend, I asked God for experiences of clarity that I couldn’t miss. People came out of the woodwork to confess they didn’t think he was right for me. Out of the blue a close friend told me he wasn’t good enough for me. With those experiences I dumped him. When you ask for clarity about whether you should stay in a situation with someone, you’ll have experiences that happen spontaneously if you look for them.

My best advice is to relax and enjoy. If it’s meant to be, he won’t cheat. I have many male friends and have lost some because of jealous girlfriends. This past “junk” just eats at you for no reason. Try to figure out why you want to sabotage your happiness by looking for trouble that isn’t there. Try doing EFT to release those old memories so you can be more objective about your situation. Use affirmations to quell the thoughts. “Everything will work out fine with my relationship.” Being too vigilant can make you paranoid about things that aren’t there. Relax and let faith guide you!

Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.

Previous Posts

Law of Attraction in Action: Making the Best of What Happens
This is post 281 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Things don’t always go the way you planned or hoped for. That’s how life works. But wh

posted 12:01:35pm Apr. 22, 2014 | read full post »

Rewriting Elizabeth Barrett Browning
  Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I borrowed it for the title of the book I’m giving away through The Self-Love Movement™---How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways. To build self-love, it’s good to think in those terms. I suggest you rewrite

posted 12:01:25pm Apr. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Shutting Yakkers Up Nicely
Have you ever just wanted to be left alone but someone intruded on your space? When I was a DoorMat and someone talked my ear off when I wanted silence I’d just smile and let them go on and on. I’d get mad inside and feel frustrated at my inability to say what I was feeling—SHUT UP! I’d g

posted 12:01:09pm Apr. 18, 2014 | read full post »

A Wake Up Call
Can you easily recognize when it’s time to make changes in your life?  I’m thrilled to have Dr. Dain Heer as my guest today to give you suggestions for waking your consciousness. He travels all over the world facilitating advanced classes, workshops and seminars on Access Consciousness® and a

posted 12:01:58pm Apr. 17, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: Assuming the Worst
This is post 280 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. When you’re going through a problem it’s easy to get worked up in a negative direction

posted 12:01:25pm Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.