Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


Take Down Your Barriers

I often hear from people who come to me for counseling, and also from people in my travels, who are frustrated at not being able to do something they want. They usually have what they consider good reasons for why they can’t do it. It’s either someone else is causing a problem or a situation makes it impossible to do. I know how that feels since I used to be one of those who always had a good excuse for not going forward. It’s so easy to blame other people or circumstance and so hard to take responsibility for not trying.

Sometimes our reasons seem logical. Other times they’re only logical to you. Fear is often a catalyst for letting obstacles stop you. I wanted to be happy and leave DoorMatville BUT—the obstacles looked too big. How would I support myself if I got divorced? Where would I live? And the biggest back then—who would want to be with me??? I thought so poorly of myself that I couldn’t understand why any man would want to be my boyfriend—and in those days I thought I needed a man to complete me. And I worried about not having any friends if I stopped being a people pleaser.

So I stayed for much longer than I wanted to, burdened by the walls I put up in front of my desire to become an empowered woman. They cut off my ability to be happy and kept me stuck inside of them. I looked for what I could blame for being stuck. But ultimately, I did find a happier life by acknowledging that I was responsible for the walls that blocked my path to happiness. Once I did that, I was able to create a satisfying life.

The next time you’re feeling bad about not being able to do something you believe you want, and find yourself making excused for it, remember that you’re only limited by the barriers that YOU put in front of you. No one can stop you if you don’t let them. My biggest obstacle to leaving DoorMatville was I believed everyone should like me. The thought of saying “no” to someone seemed like a good way to alienate people. But I eventually decided freedom from pleasing was more important than being liked by all and I began to turn people down. Although some people called me selfish, or worse, I knew I had to stand up for me. That was one of the best decisions of my life!

I wasted many years being an unhappy DoorMat because I refused to recognize that I put up the barriers I complained about. Taking them down enabled me a happy life. You can get past obstacles and conquers your fears if you don’t let them stop you. You put up the barriers and you can take them down, one at a time, When you stop blaming people or circumstances for not getting what you want, you give yourself the power to go after it. So stop putting up barriers and go after what you want!
***************

Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge–a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the next 31 days–and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts from 2012 HERE.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.



Previous Posts

Ditch the Victim Mentality
A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.”  I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People

posted 10:41:37pm Jul. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Standing Up for Yourself
You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to –prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, “Am I WILLING to be serious?” You may want to stop unacceptable behavior, but are you willing to leave or mean “no” or cut visits if ignored? Decide how

posted 12:01:04pm Jul. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: What You Think Of Yourself
This is post 290 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Very often, your biggest roadblocks to achieving goals are the labels you put on yourself.

posted 8:44:56pm Jul. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Why People Become DoorMats/People Pleasers
George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.” Having DMS (DoorMat Syndrome) made me a People Pleaser wh

posted 2:09:35pm Jul. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: “It’s for the best”
This is post 289 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  to see how. People get confused when they’re trying to manifest if something doesn’t work out

posted 12:01:14pm Jul. 08, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.