Beliefnet
Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

This is post 145 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how.

Friendship is considered a very important influence on our health and happiness. Studies show that having a good community of friends around you can extend your life and improve your health. But, that depends on the kind of friends you have. Caring, loving ones enhance your life. But if your friends are negative, or even worse, toxic, they’ll have the opposite effect on you.

Your thoughts and feelings about yourself and your worth tell the Law of Attraction what kind of people you expect or feel comfortable with, however uncomfortable their negative attributes can make you. If you complain a lot about someone but continue spending time with that person, you say it’s acceptable to your concept of a friend. If you allow friends to take advantage of you or take you for granted, you affirm that it’s okay. It doesn’t matter if you also say you don’t like it. When you think about what you don’t like, you attract more of it.

Friends are a reflection of you and the way you feel about you.

You can learn a lot about yourself by the people you attract and hang with. When I was a DoorMat I settled for anyone who’d spend time with me. I was so scared of being lonely that I deluded myself, thinking they were people I needed. But it was really because I was scared of being alone. I had a lot of friends growing up and believed I needed a lot of people around me as an adult, so I did whatever I could to attract people to me, and keep them around. This often meant pleasing them and tolerating that they didn’t care about pleasing me.

DoorMats do that but so do people who don’t love themselves enough to respect and value their own company.

I didn’t value myself enough to enjoy being with just me. That seemed like torture, though I’d never actually tried to spend time alone. I imagined the pain I expected from doing that would be worse than the pain I got from the people I called friends. It changed as my self-love grew.  The more I loved me, the less I tolerated from people and the more value I gave to the word friend. It didn’t mean someone who hangs out with me for favors or who is any person available for company.

Friends should be people you trust, who you respect and who respects you.

Friends should be people who make you happy and support you, not just people you support. The Law of Attraction picks up on the ones you allow into your life and sends you people you seem to want for friends since you accept them. Tolerating behavior—consistently—that you don’t like attracts more of those types. Eventually I began to let go of the people who didn’t fit my new definition of a friend and began to attract a much better quality of people.

Tell the Law of Attraction that you want friends who treat you well and that are trustworthy by only accepting those kinds of people as your friends. Of course you may disagree with a friend occasionally and disappointments and angry situations can happen with the best of friends. But there’s a difference between a one-time incident and normal behavior. The better the friends you make, the better the friends you’ll attract. Love yourself enough to not settle for friends who don’t make you happy most of the time!

See all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series HERE.
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Take the self-love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

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