Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

I recently went to my usual diner for lunch with my laptop. Normally the service is excellent but this time my waitress was new and overwhelmed since all her tables had just arrived at once. She ran around trying to take orders and was blatantly frazzled. When I asked for things I always get she wasn’t sure what I meant. I got annoyed and came close to asking one of the other waiters to help her. Or complain to the manager. I waited much longer than usual for my food. But I caught myself and remembered that kindness is better!!

When someone isn’t giving you the best service but is trying their best, compassion is much better than annoyance, which can make their job worse from the stress..

I put myself into a much better mood by remembering that! The waitress ran around like crazy trying her best to get everyone’s order. She didn’t need more grief from me. I actually felt good being patient. And when she brought my food, I told her how bad I felt for her having to rush around non-stop like that when she’s not used to it. I got a big smile. She said she’d been working non-stop for 6 hours straight, no time for the bathroom or to eat. I could see her relax by sharing that with me.

Every time she walked by my table I gave her a reassuring smile and saw gratitude in her eyes. I think it also helped her that she could connect with someone who understood. It made me realize how easy it is to react based on what we want and not consider that the other person is going through. Getting annoyed or frustrated doesn’t get you better service but it does put you into a negative mood. That never feels good so why do it?

Being kind to someone will put you into a good mood when you see their gratitude.

Think before you go to a dark place when someone annoys you. Stay in the light of kindness. Even if the person doesn’t appreciate it, you can appreciate that you’re a kind person. Whatever the person does or doesn’t do has nothing to do with you. Really! A true nice person isn’t nice because of what they get from others. They’re nice because it’s their nature. I don’t mean you should ignore blatantly bad service or a nasty attitude. But if the person is just super busy and doing his or her best, cut some slack. You’ll be giving them a blessing.

Take the self-love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

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